Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there,
I really struggle with alcohol addiction I’m a young man with autism in my twenties. Ever since I first got drunk at 14 I have loved the way alcohol makes me feel. The euphoria it gives me is almost indescribable, it makes me feel free to be who I want and I feel more compassion and empathy for others when I’m drunk. I haven’t found anything else like it. I tried weed but I didn’t like the way it made me feel it didn’t make me feel invincible like alcohol instead weed made me feel small and vulnerable. I have been off drink since I was 19 but recently have relapsed after years being off it. I tried it because I forgot what it was like and immediately that euphoria rushed in and once I had a taste for it again I just wanted more and more. People have recommended medication like ‘Acamprosate’ which helps with alcohol cravings I’ve never tried that before but maybe it works. But then I would worry that if I came off the medication at some point I would immediately want alcohol again. It’s difficult. I understand that lots of autistic people I have spoken to have also struggled with alcohol as it helps them loosen up a bit. I wonder if us autistic people have some kind of imbalance in our brains that makes us desire alcohol above most else. Let me know what you guys think
I've never experienced being more sociable after alcohol
When I was younger I used to force myself to attend social events and would consume copious amounts, to try to deal with what I believed at the time to be social anxiety. A lot of the events were work related with a free bar, so access to alcohol was very easy. People used to encourage me to drink, in an attempt to prise me out of my shell, and I could drink them under the table with ease.
Not once did it ever make it any easier to talk to people or have any more interest in them. Sure I would be more likely to make a complete fool of myself on the dance floor. My anxiety around eating in front of others also dissipated but I still didn't talk to anyone.
Nowadays I rarely touch alcohol, maybe a glass of wine a couple of times a year. If I do have any alcohol it usually just gives me a headache and makes me sleep.