Considering interpersonal skills for autistic people - a guide

My fear of judgement is higher than it ever was. My self esteem is rock bottom. It's like I'm constantly angry and frustrated and resentful, and I feel like lashing out all the time. I haven't found a healthy way of releasing that anger.

HMO said:

I've never really found a way of dealing with it. I feel more sensitive than ever.

Feel emotions intensely can be a benefit though as we as autistic people can really care about things we are passionate about and also have a strong sense of justice.

 I understand what you mean though, what kind of situations are you particularly sensitive to?

I've never really found a way of dealing with it. I feel more sensitive than ever.

HMO said:

I try and avoid online arguments as much as I can. I used to really let myself get irate by it but it's not worth it.

I understand, I feel emotions intensely too.

I try and avoid online arguments as much as I can. I used to really let myself get irate by it but it's not worth it.

My emotions are really heightened anyway and it's not doing me any good. 

Neither do I, that’s such a shame though!

I don't like getting into arguments and it felt like that's all I was seeing. I don't like that sort of stuff.

HMO said:

some leapt to the idea that someone talking about their experience meant that they're speaking for everyone which was not the case.

Of course not! Our autistic community is so diverse that there are naturally lots of conflicting opinions.

Thankfully I deleted my socials and made sure that every article I ever did was taken down (that was about me). There were other circumstances which meant that I couldn't carry on anyway.

I used to see so many arguments on Twitter within the autistic community; some leapt to the idea that someone talking about their experience meant that they're speaking for everyone which was not the case. It just felt like it was always divisive for no good reason. 

I just can't bring myself to get angry (like some do) over even an autistic person saying "with autism" instead of "autistic". I'd notice it when I hear it but 99% of the time it's not meant with malice, it's just genuine ignorance. I'd have thought autistic people would be more understanding about how it feels when people jump to conclusions.

Ausomely Autistic said:

I imagine this might have been quite upsetting for you.

I didn't mind at that point. What was more upsetting was getting piled on by thousands of people on Twitter. It wasn't related to any of this, I did a bad thing and deserved it, but it doesn't make it feel any less horrible or isolating.

I ask myself a lot "how did I manage to mess it up so badly?" but 6 months on I'm trying to somehow move forward.

HMO said:

I used to do a lot of personal stuff and I look back and regret it. I know there's a lot of autistic content creators who do that sort of stuff and I wanted a slice of that pie, but I think I realised that it was never meant for me.

Yes I am quite interested in autistic content creators too, but you can make yourself vulnerable by putting too much personal information on the internet.

I understand why you regret it, you can’t really take it back once it has been posted online.

HMO said:

You're opening yourself up to scrutiny. Mainly from other autistics. Especially when you're expected to represent an entire community with the stuff you put out there.

Absolutely!

I don’t know how you can be expected represent your whole autistic community when you are only one autistic person, there is so much diversity in autistic experiences. We are not a monolith! Sadly, this is the perspective that many non autistic people have.

HMO said:

I didn't know how to feel about having a BBC News write-up and a Metro article (both of which no longer exist), I didn't feel any different and it actually felt more isolating.

I imagine this might have been quite upsetting for you.

I used to do a lot of personal stuff and I look back and regret it. I know there's a lot of autistic content creators who do that sort of stuff and I wanted a slice of that pie, but I think I realised that it was never meant for me.

You're opening yourself up to scrutiny. Mainly from other autistics. Especially when you're expected to represent an entire community with the stuff you put out there.

I think you need to be prepared for that. I didn't know how to feel about having a BBC News write-up and a Metro article (both of which no longer exist), I didn't feel any different and it actually felt more isolating.

HMO said:

If I recall correctly, they approached me initially cos they saw the stuff I was putting on Twitter. I would simply approach them with ideas, I'm sure they'll take an interest.

That’s really cool! Thanks for letting me know, I might consider sharing ideas with them.

HMO said:

I wanted this to be anonymous and less of me putting deeply personal details out there.

Yes I understand what you mean, I wouldn’t feel comfortable writing personal blogs either.

I had written a few things for them since last April but I stopped cos of what happened in my life (and asked them to remove everything I'd done for them).

I wanted this to be anonymous and less of me putting deeply personal details out there.

If I recall correctly, they approached me initially cos they saw the stuff I was putting on Twitter. I would simply approach them with ideas, I'm sure they'll take an interest.

I am sure it will!

How did you start getting involved in writing for the ‘Thinking Person’s Guide To Autism’ blog?

Just asking as I am very interested in blogging for autistic led projects and organisations!

You're welcome!

You're welcome! I hope it helps. :)

This is great. Thank you!

Thanks for this!