Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. it seems i spoke on this forum before its but its been a while.
in short my fear is that I am a useless shut in and I don't know what will happen to me. i don't think I was able to get help soon enough for how poor my school life was. i don't know how to be a teenager let alone an adult so don't assume i can do anything even go to a store on my own without too much difficulty to ever be alone. i have been to therapy over issues and just became resentful and my local autism services are too bad and slow.
basically I have nobody. what will happen to me when my parents cant look after me anymore if I have no support? my brother does because he has more special needs than me. I'm a bit afraid to ask my parents about this which is why Im asking here first. I'm 25 for reference and my parents are in their 50/60s and are the sole people who take care of me. they're good people but very protective so the middle ground is so difficult. is there any one out there who will be able to take care of me if i lost them?
that's it... i just spend all day on the computer and draw, so its all i need.
pip said:i don't know how to be a teenager let alone an adult
This is a urprisingly common issue for autists. All the neurotypicals out there just seem to know whot to do and how to behave in situations while we are sat there saying "where is the rule book for this".
There is no rule book, but there are lots of expected behaviours depending on where you are, what age you are and what you are trying to do.
My advice is to treat it like a training course - get someone (we can help on here if you are brave enough to ask) to look at a situation with you that you need to address and work through the things you need to do and what sort of variables you may encounter.
Maybe start with doing food shopping as it is fairly easy to define based on your diet. Get them to talk you though:
- where to shop, when you would use each option, when they open and how to get there and back.
- How the places are laid out, how you should behave when around other people and how to load the basket to avoid damaging delicate goods, when to use a trolley instead etc.
- till etiquette and common issues (eg items not scanning, age verification, unexpected item in bagging area, when to let other people ahead of you etc.
Once you have got your head around this then get someone to go to the supermarket with you for a dry run (ie not actually buying anything but getting used to going there, seeing the layout, where to get baskets/trolleys from and observe the till process for people buying stuff.
You can let this settle in then go try it yourself and buy a handful of items and see how it goes.
Extend the same principle of going to the chemist, the doctors, the dentist, the post office, voting etc etc - build your experiences when your capacity can handle it and realise that it is all fairly straightforward once you know what to do and have done it once or twice.
Try to make it fun and allow yourself a little reward for a new experience so you have positive reinforcement for the learning.
I'm sure your parents will help you with this and with time you will be able to help them with many chores and even be able to take care of them.
That is how I would handle it anyway.
Cudos for asking about this by the way, it can't have been easy.