Published on 12, July, 2020
Most of my life i have never been able to recognise when someone likes me, be it male or female, frienship or romanticly. As i have got older i do recognise this better. Also, i never gave marriage a thought. I just didnt think it applied to me. It was never something i considered.
I also didnt know that i was good at anything. I have always given 150%. This of course has been exhausting. If i couldnt do it well, then i wouldnt want to do it.
Only in recent years have i recognised these traits. Nothing has changed, except i understand myself better.
Are these typical traits for autistic people? X
Yes, they are typical, all of them, you're not alone Tulip. And lots of auts are perfectionists.
And anyway, you sound like a lovely person to me
Hehe thank you
It certainly does explain why i have felt 'different'. Not in a bad way though. Its just been hard not knowing why.
Why do you think we are petfectionists? Possibly OCD?
I think there's a need for things to be right. And that means knowing either way for certain. A lot of people are vague in their interactions. When someone tapped me on the arm at work during a conversation, I simultaneously thought they were coming onto me and taking the piss out of me. Two extremes! I asked my partner what it meant and he said "no one knows, and she probably didn't either" which brought me to the conclusion that in a lot of interactions, most people are ok with not knowing something for definite. Absolute bonkers.
Tulip52 said:Maybe it has been me and my protective armour! Maybe looking too deep into things? I care a little less than i used to about the small stuff.
That is a powerful tool in our arsenal of protection, but it keeps out the good as well as the bad.
Learning when take a chance and be vulnerable is a huge step, but one I found to be so rewarding.
I also find just asking "am I misreading the situation or are you interested in me" to be a great filter when I'm unsure. Obviously not something to use in the very early stages but on meeting number 3 or 4 it seems an effective way to make sure we are on the same page.