Published on 12, July, 2020
Most of my life i have never been able to recognise when someone likes me, be it male or female, frienship or romanticly. As i have got older i do recognise this better. Also, i never gave marriage a thought. I just didnt think it applied to me. It was never something i considered.
I also didnt know that i was good at anything. I have always given 150%. This of course has been exhausting. If i couldnt do it well, then i wouldnt want to do it.
Only in recent years have i recognised these traits. Nothing has changed, except i understand myself better.
Are these typical traits for autistic people? X
Yes, they are typical, all of them, you're not alone Tulip. And lots of auts are perfectionists.
And anyway, you sound like a lovely person to me
Hehe thank you
It certainly does explain why i have felt 'different'. Not in a bad way though. Its just been hard not knowing why.
Why do you think we are petfectionists? Possibly OCD?
I think there's a need for things to be right. And that means knowing either way for certain. A lot of people are vague in their interactions. When someone tapped me on the arm at work during a conversation, I simultaneously thought they were coming onto me and taking the piss out of me. Two extremes! I asked my partner what it meant and he said "no one knows, and she probably didn't either" which brought me to the conclusion that in a lot of interactions, most people are ok with not knowing something for definite. Absolute bonkers.
Tulip52 said:Maybe it has been me and my protective armour! Maybe looking too deep into things? I care a little less than i used to about the small stuff.
That is a powerful tool in our arsenal of protection, but it keeps out the good as well as the bad.
Learning when take a chance and be vulnerable is a huge step, but one I found to be so rewarding.
I also find just asking "am I misreading the situation or are you interested in me" to be a great filter when I'm unsure. Obviously not something to use in the very early stages but on meeting number 3 or 4 it seems an effective way to make sure we are on the same page.
Its certainly easier to spot as i have got older. I found myself saying ...well i must be nice because they want to be my friend. They must like me if they want to spend time with me. Maybe it has been me and my protective armour! Maybe looking too deep into things? I care a little less than i used to about the small stuff.