Published on 12, July, 2020
I've always been a bit funny with this. On the one hand, in the past I became a bit needy. Needing interaction with friends constantly, texting constantly and so on.
However, I've almost always done things on my own. I go cycling and 99% of my rides have been on my own. I usually go into town on my own. I've been to the cinema on my own. I've driven to London on my own. I went to a concert at bloody Wembley Stadium on my own.
I know I can do it, but I don't really want to. I feel vulnerable and exposed and small. However, I feel I'm being difficult if I ask anyone to come with me.
I have no idea how neurotypicals can make these plans seemingly very easily. Every time I try and make a plan to meet up with someone it stresses me out so badly - some of that is often self inflicted but it takes the shine off what often turns out to be a nice day out with a friend. I usually put myself under the pressure to organise it entirely myself rather than being honest about the fact I could do with cooperation from the other person.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.
NOT unreasonable but practical! You describe me, but unlike yourself I rarely feel vulnerable. At least you have people you can ask. As a pariah, I have become use to my own company out of practicality. As mentioned in a previous thread overcoming such treatment is very difficult so I take the path of least resistance --- life is too short to invest the time, effort and stress levels needed to UN-pidgeon hole myself. That is practicality.