I am newly diagnosed and struggling

LateNightOtaku said:

I genuinely feel uncomfortable being myself now knowing I have been diagnosed. I look back at certain situations that stick out in my life and I feel like it was a sign of undiagnosed autism and it feels like my entire life has been a lie.

It is just a comfirmation that your brain is wired in a particular way and it is this that gives rise to your autistic traits. I found it best to look on it as confirmation of the cause and not anything negative about me.

Now you know you can do something more about it. Maybe start with some wide ranging but high level info on autism:

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476

From there you can decide if you want to dig deeper and understand more or just accept it and get on with your life.

Think about it - you are not materially different today with this knowledge than you were before. Your history is all still there but it cannot be changed so wasting time blaming others for not diagnosing it would not help one jot.

LateNightOtaku said:

I am trying to get help but I am unsure where to go or what to look out for.

I would strongly recommend getting a therapist with experience of autism and work through all your issues with them. They can help steer you through the maze of dealing with past trauma, imposter syndrome, wanting to blame someone for it etc and though this you can hopefully find peace with your past, knowing what hurt you in the past and why then can develop healthy coping strategies for your autistic traits.

Quite a lot of people here (including myself) found a therapist here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling

once you select your region you can select the bubble called Issues and in there select autism to find those with experience and/or training.

I'm not sure where you live but most of the people here are in the link is for the UK regions. I have found 2 therapists who were based in Canada and Los Angeles which works well for my time zone (Brazil time) so you should be able to look at therapists in any location and have a remote session in a time window that works for both of you.

In terms of day to day support and general question asking or banter this site seems to be the best I've found in the world so you can find a lot of knowledgeable and freindly people here to chat with on this forum.

Welcome to the club.

LateNightOtaku said:

I genuinely feel uncomfortable being myself now knowing I have been diagnosed. I look back at certain situations that stick out in my life and I feel like it was a sign of undiagnosed autism and it feels like my entire life has been a lie.

It is just a comfirmation that your brain is wired in a particular way and it is this that gives rise to your autistic traits. I found it best to look on it as confirmation of the cause and not anything negative about me.

Now you know you can do something more about it. Maybe start with some wide ranging but high level info on autism:

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476

From there you can decide if you want to dig deeper and understand more or just accept it and get on with your life.

Think about it - you are not materially different today with this knowledge than you were before. Your history is all still there but it cannot be changed so wasting time blaming others for not diagnosing it would not help one jot.

LateNightOtaku said:

I am trying to get help but I am unsure where to go or what to look out for.

I would strongly recommend getting a therapist with experience of autism and work through all your issues with them. They can help steer you through the maze of dealing with past trauma, imposter syndrome, wanting to blame someone for it etc and though this you can hopefully find peace with your past, knowing what hurt you in the past and why then can develop healthy coping strategies for your autistic traits.

Quite a lot of people here (including myself) found a therapist here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling

once you select your region you can select the bubble called Issues and in there select autism to find those with experience and/or training.

I'm not sure where you live but most of the people here are in the link is for the UK regions. I have found 2 therapists who were based in Canada and Los Angeles which works well for my time zone (Brazil time) so you should be able to look at therapists in any location and have a remote session in a time window that works for both of you.

In terms of day to day support and general question asking or banter this site seems to be the best I've found in the world so you can find a lot of knowledgeable and freindly people here to chat with on this forum.

Welcome to the club.