Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
It has come to my attention over the past few months that I need to improve my communications skills, as I fear this will hinder my future prospects career wise and in personal life. I have always had issues with communication since childhood, this was excused as being shy and anxiety.
I find it difficult to reach out and ask for help, to verbalise any decisions I make (or when trying to make them), speak in a group setting regardless if it's face-to-face or on a call (e.g. teams or skype), talk when I don't think what I say has any value or is unnecessary.
For example, the last one is has been a big problem as of late. It feels as I am physically unable to talk about stuff I deem trivial, or if I know my opinion doesn't really hold any value. So much, I have resorted to completely avoiding the situation, which is getting me in quite a bit of trouble.
I have had a little look online about how to develop communication skills as an autistic person, but I don't know where to start. I am unsure of therapy yet, although I may pursue this later down the line, I just haven't had much luck with therapists yet which is why I'm reluctant to start there. What books or websites would you recommend? Any advice? I really would appreciate it.
I noticed that some of the tips on how to deal with this would be that some people find it easier to continue the conversation written down rather than verbally, which I do find much easier (and prefer) but I am more interested in trying to help in the situation where written communication is not possible.
Apologies if the format is not pleasant, I haven't posted much on this forum... yet
Hi LQ,
I have similar issues in terms of communicating and influencing people. I also can't be doing with spin or having to sell ideas to people and small talk is generally meh! I have done various courses in my career with elements around this, however, they haven't been that useful. I've been looking recently specifically around something for ND people as I don't really want to be taught how to further mask but I haven't found owt yet.
I have adapted my approach in my career a little around trying to find different ways of explaining what I mean to people. When people know me or have worked with me a while, they start to get me a bit more and will ask what I think if I'm being quiet or come to me with a problem/conundrum as I'll look at it from a bunch of different angles (I'm also unlikely to let it go until I've solved it or found an owner for it). What's more tricky is working with new people or interview type situations.
Having things written down or backed up in writing definitely helps and I generally write bullet summaries to confirm my understanding with people. I'll also ask some direct questions to cut through any... erm.. elaboration.... this doesn't always go down well. I also tend to prep before meetings, so I'll have questions or points written down that I want to raise if they aren't covered by someone.