Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm 33 and going through the Diagnosis process currently. It's very hard going. Going through every inch of my personality and life. I'm struggling with trying to separate what is me and what is autism. Some things I do, like or find uncomfortable will just be my personality everyone is different. Which bits are and are not Autism. My family and friends argue with me on certain points that everyone does a little of everything. I work with Autistic children so I'm fully aware of what Autism looks like as a spectrum. However i feel adults are a different thing all together. Ive had my whole life to learn. hide and adapt to the world around me. I'm now set in my ways and routines and have found safe ways of doing things for myself. I don't know what I'm hiding or masking anymore. To conclude who I am?
Help ? I don't know any adults with autism to reach out to
I had a huge identity crisis when I was diagnosed. What parts of me were actually me? What was autism? Did I only get accepted onto my maths course because I'm autistic? Who would I be if I wasn't autistic?
A lot of the features I thought of as me were just autism, and that's still something I struggle with. Where do I start? Do I start at any point or do I just blend into the vague background of just "Not Normal"?
I don't think there is a statistic of how many UK autistics but I am sure it is many thousands. Labeling such a group as "not normal" isn't helpful. My GP once said to me "What is normal?" My attitude is que sera sera. If others wish to pidgeon hole me based on rumour --- that's their problem. I yam what I yam --- hopefully not looking like one!
So boopBrownie try to save yourself from much self analysing, and try to accept your ASD as part of who you are. My own diagnosis at the ripe age of 76 was a welcome revelation that allowed me to at least try to stop beating myself up---I still do it though as old habits do die hard. Sorry to repeat old worn out sayings but "if the shoe fits, wear it"