Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm 33 and going through the Diagnosis process currently. It's very hard going. Going through every inch of my personality and life. I'm struggling with trying to separate what is me and what is autism. Some things I do, like or find uncomfortable will just be my personality everyone is different. Which bits are and are not Autism. My family and friends argue with me on certain points that everyone does a little of everything. I work with Autistic children so I'm fully aware of what Autism looks like as a spectrum. However i feel adults are a different thing all together. Ive had my whole life to learn. hide and adapt to the world around me. I'm now set in my ways and routines and have found safe ways of doing things for myself. I don't know what I'm hiding or masking anymore. To conclude who I am?
Help ? I don't know any adults with autism to reach out to
Hi,
I'm early 50s diagnosed in January and whilst my diagnosis was a relief and it's better than the waiting, it's still a rollercoaster.
What I have been able to do is accept that autism is a part of who I am and I can't change it. That I need to be kinder to myself and practice more self care. Yep I've spent time looking at past events thinking was that because but tried to do that in an explanation type of way rather than negative.
Read a bunch of books, to try and understand (I don't normally read) and tried to challenge some of the things people say. One thing I've read is that there aren't really autistic only behaviours, if there were diagnosis would be easier. Its things as a whole. Your family will be used to you doing certain stuff or some of the so called autistic traits may run in the family so they won't see them as different (I've had this with one sister).
So I guess my advice would be,, don't try to separate it. It's part of you and be kind to yourself, do you really need to do that thing to please everyone or can you say no or say actually can we meet somewhere quieter or do a smaller group? Whatever it is you need.
Every week something new pops up and I think oh that's why. Last week it was a flippant comment I made about watching the washing machine as a kid. Yesterday, it was about putting my clothes in the wardrobe in a certain order which a friend thought weird and I was just like how can you not do that? There's a whole bunch of stuff I just assumed everyone did and now I find out they don't! For me it's learning to be comfortable with me and not trying to be the person other people think I am or want me to be.
Joe said:For me it's learning to be comfortable with me and not trying to be the person other people think I am or want me to be.
Nice.
For me, I'd like to be more functional and improve various aspects of my life - armed with my new knowledge, insight and calmness.
For me, I'd like to be a functional part of my local community rather than being treated as a pariah. I'm partly at fault for this treatment but negative rumours snowball quickly especially for an expat.
You lot are my salvation