Published on 12, July, 2020
Good afternoon all,
I wonder if anyone can offer assistance to myself. I have been diagnosed with Autism for the last 3 years almost and I think I know everything there is to know about Autism but unfortunately even I am struggling with this one.
I am not interested currently in dating in anyway. I have been single now since January 2023. Currently I could not enter into another relationship due to the scars left from my last relationship. However I do miss one thing and it is not what the majority of young men want. I am looking for intimacy in way of a cuddle from a friend. This is the problem that I am currently facing, I do not want to enter into a relationship and I can't socialise but the one key element missing from my life is to cuddle someone from the opposite sex.
Many people suggest cuddling family, but that is different on a whole different level if you understand where I am coming from. I have tried the likes of Cuddle Comfort to experience a cuddle that way but have not had any joy and where I live, there aren't as many cuddlers as lets say the South of England. Like, from the north east of England. There is only 2 ladies available to cuddle on this platform.
I wouldn't want a professional cuddler either as they are too expensive for one and you cannot really put a time limit on how long a lady or gentleman wants to cuddle for. These professional cuddlers are paid £80 per hour, now for people like myself, it probably take an hour to just be able to lie down yet alone cuddle someone.
How can I fulfil this desire of wanting a cuddle when I do not want to enter into another relationship and I am unable to socialise or interact with like minded individuals. Obviously I can socialise but only once I got to know someone very well. I find it easier communicating with others online before meeting someone. Someone said 'you need to back away from dating and start socialising'. And my instant thought was I am unable to socialise with complete strangers and it takes a lot for me to trust someone. And I do not want to date.
The reason why to me cuddling is so important as it releases feel good hormones which is a natural depressant and relieves stress. Not just that, I think cuddling should be made available to anyone and everyone, not just for those in loving relationships or massive social groups. The equality act 2010 is there to protect those with certain characteristics.
Has anyone got any suggestions for myself. Please delete if this post is not allowed
Also, this has took an awful lot of guts to start this discussion as I am proud to love the ability of a cuddle. However, NT people do not seem to understand the importance this can make on peoples mental health and emotional support. I am also aware that some autistic people do not like to be touched, however I am looking for thoughts from those who do.
Yeah it is a very tricky dilemma. I have done lots of research on it and I am not the only one who appreciates and enjoys the comfort a cuddle can bring.. I have heard about the cuddle a bear. I got a massive human size sloth in my children's bedroom, And I am so tempted to give that one a try..
Many people I speak to think I am weird or odd. And in quite a lot of occasions I am a pervert for even suggesting it. That latter comment rattles my cage a bit because they think all men and all boys are the same.
Just be nice to have someone to hold. I guess in a sense of being partly in a relationship without having the commitment of a relationship attached to it if that makes sense. I have a heart of gold and I always see the best in others, but unfortunately for many NT people, they see this as a weakness and they prey on us people who have genuine vulnerabilities.
But many thanks for your honest response. Something I admire in others being honest and truthful. And yet NT people wonder why there is a bulk of us Autistic people who can't hold on to relationships. Because we never lie and we are bluntly honest. Something that some NT people lack.