Published on 12, July, 2020
I sometimes get in to a one sided misunderstanding with people and I don't know their intentions or if they're upset with me or angry which in return makes me angry and I snap at them only to find out they have no ill intent or they're not upset or angry I then start hurling insults and going angry in the street shouting at myself then I hit things, and it ruins my day because I misunderstood someone, how do I stop this or any advice
I get this quite a bit. I have also been in situations with my boyfriend (who I obviously would never want to hurt intentionally) where he is upset about something and I don't realise and he gets upset even more because I haven't realised that he was hurt initially.
I think this is an issue that is going to take some time and work, but if possible the first step might be to speak to those you are close to/ feel comfortable with about your difficulties and just explain that it comes from a place of guilt as well. Even if there are people you don't feel comfortable disclosing your diagnosis with, if you find yourself in a conversation with them and it's going down a route you don't like then you can just ask for clarification. There is nothing wrong with just asking and it doesn't "out" you as there are many people who aren't neurotypical who need clarification to.
These problems tend to be more often/ severe with autistics, but that doesn't mean other people don't experience misunderstandings as well so please don't think that you'll come across in any particular way if you just ask for clarity.
Hope I've helped a little bit :)
yeah, I guess I could ask rather than just getting angry and guessing
I've been told it's always me who misunderstands and it's one sided and I create drama with it apparently especially with people I know I just don't know how sticking up for myself is causing "drama"
I'm on a low dose Risperidone now which is making me less agitated so I'm gonna see how that goes
There are two things I can think of in regards to how, as you put it, "sticking up for yourself causes drama".
Either, people like to shift all of the blame onto you, especially if they known that they may be able to use your diagnosis as a scape goat for their poor behaviour towards you in a "they are the one with problems, therefore I can't be the problem" sort of attitude, or the other option is that you have to reflect on how you are sticking up for yourself.
There is nothing wrong with sticking up for yourself at all, but there are definitely more positive and more negative ways that you can carry it out. Personally, I find that doing anything to make the other person go on the defensive very quickly, such as snapping at them, tends to end in conflict.
That being said, of course, it depends on what the situation requires. There are certainly situations/ people who deserve to have a verbal boot up the butt sometimes.