Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all!
I was recently diagnosed with autism at the age of thirty.
This has been a huge rollercoaster of self-discovery and understanding as I come to realise that I'm not broken or wrong, but different.
I currently work for the Civil Service and I had been on a several month long period of absence, I have returned to work on a phased return and I am expected to do one day in office. However it has now got to the point where my phased return has ended and I am back to full hours but have yet been able to make it into the office. They expect me to be in office for the full hours of my phased return and denied my request to just do a half day. I really struggle with office and with just going outside in general as I find it all rather overwhelming, on a good day I can manage, but it requires a lot of energy which then leaves me completely drained for days. There is nothing in my role that can't be done from home, I have had an occupational health assessment which suggested that if I was unable to work in office they should consider home based working, however, to this day, they are refusing to let me work only from home and are not providing an adequate reason. I do not feel that the management of my office understand me and how hard this has been, it is not only causing me large amounts of stress but my family and friends as well as they try to support me.
If I'm completely honest I am struggling quite a lot and I feel I'm at the end of my tether.
For a bit of background I had to leave my previous job, before my diagnosis, due to it's impact on my mental health and the manangements archaic attitude (thankfully that manager was replaced). I have always struggled with school and work and how much it drains me and causes me pain but I didn't understand why until recently.
If anyone has any suggestions, advice or just words of comfort/understanding they would be much appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read through this, I hope you have a nice day.
A good dive into how introverts thrive and can be more productive will provide evidence they can better understand.
I'd create a proposal with a suggested term to start for room to evaluate the progression of the change (1-3 months). This should include a way they can track your time - say logging into an internal server and willingness to sign an NDA. Negotiate to come into the office on day a week, maybe Friday when others go home early. The more you are willing to negotiate to meet their needs but in ways which "I can be better assist you" will help.
Most employers have upper management to contend with, numbers to match, and their own weight to carry. If you set perimeters for a negotiated work-week which most NT wouldn't want to work under (say, stricter adherence to accountability in some way) then the Employer may not be too bothered in bending a protocol for the sake of Diversity, if it makes their data stronger and they don't have to fear providing you an accommodation that everyone else would want.
The problem with the NT thought process is group identity and FOMO. So if one person starts a new trend, everyone else is wired to 'follow a leader' or follow the unique rebel. This is how adverts collect followers and why it's important your negotiated contract is distinctly unappealing to the masses.
Robo-Doc said:I do not feel that the management of my office understand me and how hard this has been
I was a manager in the civil service for a while so I can help shed some light on what both sides of this situation look like I think.
You think everything can be done from home, and this is probably true. You may need to look at the nature of what you do and see if there are any small details that require you to be in the office as these may be getting glossed over in your search to justify your position.
From the managements side, they have always been very resistant to home working from my experience. They are highly resistant to change and it was only Covid that triggered them to allow this at scale, and I'm sure they will get staff in as soon as possible now it is over.
Why do they want you in? I think most of the mindset is that if they can't see you doing your work then they don't trust you are actually doing it. Archaic mindset, but it was always that way.
There are also aspects of the concept of the "team" - getting together is one of the oldest forms of bonding known to mankind and these managers still think it is essential to create a team spirit. Add to that any personal preference you may have to distance yourself from your colleagues because of your autism and you start to look like a lone wolf - not really a team player and one they need to observe as they are suspicious of you.
Does this make sense? I'm not saying it is right, just trying to explain why they want you back.
Add to the mix the fact that your other colleagues see you never in the office and they want the same treatment - in no time the manager would lose contact with the team in the way they have learned to control them.
In your position I would get a therapist to work through your anxiety in social situations to enable you to be able to go to the office occasionally and play the role they are asking. Explain to your management (possibly with a supporting letter from your therapist) that this causes you extreme anxiety and you ask for the least possible number of days in the office.
Ensure the letter gets to the HR team and onto your file and that the union are kept in the loop too - always good to have the union on your side.
I think this would give the best possible balance for the two sides.
Just me thinking out loud - no legal advice intented of course.
Perhaps ask to be referred back to occupational health if current adjustments are not working.