i think my jobs broken me

not sure if im having a mental breakdown or not, but my jobs been really shitty and my supervisor has acted like a *** for the entirety of my employment and is related to all the other supervisors so when he hates you they all gang up on you. he ran his shift *** and it really dunked on me. so many arguments with him and so many punishments and file notes and telling off for nothing all the time.

i reported him like 3 times now and all his *** just gets brushed off and at maximum they just made him apologise to me but he carried on and carried on giving me actual punishments and holding my career back despite being the hardest worker that can do everything and gets most done fastest.

in this recent dispute he suspended me but i managed to get a transfer temporary to this other shift that starts 7am and is so chill as it has no supervisors over it, its been so happy there and i get left alone, it made me feel what work supposed to be like, without being harrassed all the time. it was nice, my personality was brighter there. then just today manager told me i have to attend a disciplinery hearing tommorow and they will also discuss my shift times so i think not only am i being punished again but i might be moved back to the *** shift that feels so aweful and miserable.

immediately my mood changed from happy to really sad and depressed upon thought of potentially hearing i have to go back to that other shift. i dont know if that will be the cae but i will find out tommorow but the fact its a possibility and will be discussed tommorow destroyed my mood entirely and i had immense emotional pressure in my head and felt really bad even sick to the stomach.... then that bully supervisors brother came along and added salt in the wound by telling me that someone who i think is my friend from work on facebook has been ratting me in to try get me in trouble too. i couldnt take it, i had to just discretely walk off to the shitty portaloos they have and lock myself in. i cant control my emotions no more, ive been crying since i got home none stop uncontrolled, i think my workplace is making me very sick, my old shift, the thought of going back there. i want nothing to do with that or with the supervisors of it ever again. i cant stand even the thought of going back it just destroys my mood.

they know this though, in one of the many meetings they had to harrass and punish me i did break down crying, since then i can no longer seem to control my emotions. the fact i had to lock myself in a portaloo today proves its done something to me and i can no longer control my emotions on the issue of my old work shift that i might have to go back to. they did offer me eap work counselling but i just dont want to go back to that shift, but im not sure they care, we will have to see tommorow. but for sure i cant cope with this job no more if i have to go back to my original shift.