Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I'm Alan and I've just signed up to the forum.
I'm 62 and although I've always known I was different, I was only diagnosed as being on the spectrum a year ago. My son is in his 20's and diagnosed at the age of 5, but my daughter almost 18, was diagnosed when aged 16. I split from my ex partner and the my mother children almost 7 years ago, when I found out she'd wiped out our savings and the money I'd won from a compensation claim following an accident. She still lives in our home, the mortgage was paid off many years ago and I now live in a bungalow. It wasn't easy, when I left, I had the clothes on my back and that was it, I had to start from scratch, I had to sell off all of my personal possesions to fund the purchase of a cooker, fridge etc and I now have it as good as I can and can appreciate what I've managed to do. I'm not financially well off, budget very wisely, though manage to feed myself and keep my home clean and tidy.
But that is all in the passed and I've moved on, I now have a new girlfriend and we get on OK, apart from one issue, to me she is greedy and when we go out, expects me to pay for everything. In the few months since we met, we've been to many places and not once has she offered to pay, not even for a coffee in Costa. When I've said, "you can get these", she throws her head back and laughs embarrasingly and when I've spoken to her about it, she reckons that as I'm out with her, I should be the one to pay all the time. A month ago, I won £400, the money went into my bank account and I never told her. I've not had a holiday or even a few days away for over 10 years, so I thought about using some of the money for a short break. I suggested having a few days away in the Lake District, but she would have to go halves as I cannot afford to pay for all of it, she agreed and said she would transfer the money into my account. I booked the hotel and paid by credit card, despite several requests from me and several promises from her, she's still not given me the money. We go away on Tuesday and to be honest, I feel like just going on my my own and leaving her at home.
I've mulled this over in my head time and time again, I've hardly slept for the last two nights and it's really bugging me. So tonight, I called her up and asked her to transfer the money as I have to pay off my credit card, she told me she couldn't afford it. So I asked, "why did you agree to go when you knew you didn't have the funds"? She didn't answer. I then suggested that she paid for the food while we're away, she refused.
So I'm now wondering what to do. I'm very annoyed with myself for shelling out, before getting her share of the cost before booking and with her for refusing to cover the cost of the food.
What do I do?
Hi everyone, I've not posted since my post as things have been very quiet and I decided to go for the holiday on my own. I got there on Tuesday afternoon for 5pm, I had the keycode to unlock the door, but this did not work. The phone number for the owner was included, so I called them to ask for help, 2 hours later they arrived and seemed to be unhappy about my having to call them. They tried the key code, but it wouldn't work, the husband suggested he went back up to the farm for a spare key, 30 minutes later he returned with the key, the door opened, I thanked him and walked in to my own little paradise (or so I thought). I carried my bags from the car, only a ten yard journey and on flat ground. I wasn't hungry, so opened a bottle of red wine and had a glass while watching the sun go down and the colours of the hillsides and field change till the light faded and I went to bed.
I woke up feeling very itchy after only an hour of sleep, I took an antihistamine and had a shower, neither helped my condition. I spent the rest of the night, pacing the floor and scratching profusely. I walked outside and along the lane to the farm, but this started the dog barking, so I walked the other way to the main road and back, I did this several times, but I was now feeling rather distressed and annoyed. At 8am, I called the owners again, waited 2 hours for an answer and as with the previous night, when she turned up, she didn't seem very happy. We had a chat and she told me they have a housekeeper who looks after the pods. She made a call, the housekeeper duly arrived and another conversation took place. The housekeeper outlined how she cleaned after the previous guests leave and shat happens with the bedding. This is done by an outside company who wash and return the bedding for the 4 cabins, but they've never had any issue and it was suggested I might have had an allergic reaction. The bedding was changed, while I drove to the nearest village to get something to try and calm the itching/redness. The pharmacist suggested a cream called Eurax, so I bought a tube and returned to the pod. After another shower and applied the cream the best I could, I put on a pair of shorts, made a coffee, sat on the settee and admired the view. Within seconds my Iegs started itching where they had touched the settee, even after applying the cream. I was at a loss as to what I could do, but my skin began to tingle even more, but the worst was around the ears and scalp. I put up with this for an hour and called the owners again, when they arrived, I was stood outside in nothing but my shorts. By now I'd had enough, I told them I was not willing to stay and have to endure the torture and asked what they could offer me or were willing to do. The other pods were occupied, so not available, so I said, "I cannot deal with this, so I'm going home. I can understand that this is the Lake District and but inside the accomodation should the weather can be dodgy, but the inside of my accomodation shouldn't have any adverse effect on me". The owners looked at each other, then walked away, so I got dressed, loaded up my car and left the keys on the lock as they had requested.
I got home at 1.30 yesterday afternoon and contacted the company I'd booked the pod through to request a refund. I was told that they would contact the owners and get back to me. If the owners are as I think, I'll be getting nothing, so I'm going to contact my credit card company and ask for a refund that way.
Despite 2 more showers and a visit to my doctors, I'm still itching, but there's no bite marks from any insects, so this would suggest to me and the confirmation from my doctor that I'd suffered from some kind of reaction from inside the pod. She also offered to confirm my visit and diagnosis if there was anything requested by the owners/letting agency.
I can't win, what was supposed to be the very thing to help me destress and give me peace of mind, has given me worse and more.
Does anyone want any stress? Free to anyone.
I'm sorry to hear the allergic reaction spoiled your trip.
My reply is based on the practical aspects of your situation so apologies in advance if it isn't what you want to hear.
Do you suffer from allergic reactions often? The fact you had antihystimine with you makes me think this may be the case.
My wife has been suffering allergic reactions to stuff for 25 years so I've seen so many variations on the issue and may have some insight.
If you had a poor quality bottle of red wine it can often make your body go into a hyper sensitive mode if you are prone to allergies. I've seen this enough times to recognise the tell tale signs.
Once the body is digesting all the sulfites used to stabalise the wines then it can make your immune system respond in a way that it thinks it is under attack so when something like the chemicals in the bed clothes or sofa cleaning agents come in contact with your skin, your body thinks it is under attack and reacts with swelling, hives etc.
My wife goes through these sensitised times particularly after a period of significant stress (sounds like you are experiencing the same) and alcohol is a common trigger for her, especially red wine and beer.
She used highish doses of antihystimine to control the worst of it and has to avoid all the things that commonly trigger an allergic response (most soap powders trigger her, even most non-bio ones) until it subsides. This can be weeks or months.
Gluten is another common trigger but 90% of the time she is fine with it in smallish doses.
IF this was the issue for you then it is nothing to do with the AirBnB people - just your body being hypersensitive, so you have no recourse from what I can see.
Just adding my perspective in case it is useful.