Looking for an opinion and maybe help. Thanks!

Hello. I'm a 37 years old man living in Eastern Europe. I recently got the notion that I may be on the Spectrum...I took every test I could possibly find and they all where "positive", if that's the word. I don't know how to go about it, I'm just looking for some help or guidance or anything, maybe just for somebody to hear me. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time, at least 13 years... before that, I was very socially awkward, really shy, very easily bored. I remember I would throw tantrums that now, when I remember them, are just weird... I remember being very angry when my brother bought himself a cd player, I was s against that for no reason. I was very angry when we had some friends of the family over for New Years that I didn't know in advance and I was the kind of kid who was rudely honest about the gifts I received... I would say it to peoples face that I didn't like it. I couldn't go to kindergarten because every time my parents try to take me I would scream and behave very badly.

All thru my teens and beginning of adulthood my father was a alcoholic, daily causing verbal fights (never physical) but I was so scared and hated the moments when he came home from work. It took me such a long time to forgive him and now we are on very good terms for the last 4-5 years.

Fast forward to the present, I'm the type of guy that still gets extremely bored... I always cary headphones, books (ebooks or audio) everywhere I go, even if it's to buy a bread. I'm always on the lookout for danger, if something slightly negative happens, I'm put off really badly because I imagine all sorts of scenarios when something similar or worse is going to happen in the future... That's why is very difficult do settle down in a living situation. I'm always afraid. I hate change, I cannot fathom even the slightest change... For example, my girlfriend of 10 years will ask me to give her a ride home from work and right when she jumps in the car she says we should stop for groceries. That just messes me up so badly. It cause so much anxiety, like a rush of panic. I need to have predicitiblity and a plan in anything I do. I'm extremely punctual and cannot have people in my life that are late. I'm a perfectionist and beat myself up about it a lot. i hate going to big parties, like weddings, I almost never go now. I feel a lot of anxiety and sometimes, when it's not somebody that close, I'm also angry, because I know I shouldn't be invited but that is the "custom".

I have physical pain, a lot of muscle and back problems, contractions, tightness, fatigue.

I'm in a habit of making lists. I have lists for every single book I have read (over 700), if I finished it, in what language I read it in, was it audio or text, how did I rate it? Also, I have rated every single movie and tv show I have ever seen (over 3000) on IMDB and every single TV show episode (almost 13000) on TV Time app. I used to run a lot, I quickly got into half marathons and marathons. I logged every run in multiples apps and for about 9 years I even noted how many kilometers I walked daily. If I'm walking outside of the house, like taking out the garbage, I have to take the phone with me just to measure the number of steps... I cannot "lose" those steps. Running helped a lot, being alone with the headphones on, but I overdone it and got injured a few times. Now I cannot find the motivation to get back at it again.

I bite my hand nails and rip the ones from my legs, unintended, I just find myself doing it, realising when it's to late. Also, I move my leg up and down when sitting, very fast, a lot of times.

I have very complex dreams. I wake up tired because of the interaction I have in dreams with people, I recite songs and even original poetry in my dreams although I cannot do that awake. Most dreams are on the nightmarish side.
In real life, I avoid people, I'm afraid of running into somebody I know, even family, on the street or in the mall and have to go thru that awkward chit-chat... I pretend to be on the phone or something else just to avoid this. Running helped with this a lot, I had my headphones on very loud and I would just wave to people I know.

One big issue I have is with noise from neighbours. I have a kid upstairs who runs around the flat a lot, like 4-5 hours a day and his mother doesn't care... It's just so bad. It makes me so stressed and angry, it's so hard to control myself or to focus on anything else. I'm just thinking like how rude is she, how can she do this to me, it's illegal, she doesn't have extra rights and so and so... I had that also with neighbours dogs, I called the police on three of them. The strange thing is that I love dogs more than anything in the world. I understand dogs, if I get attacked by dogs, no matter how many (and I did, a few times, even at night alone in the parl), they just back away when I talk to them. I'm not afraid. I adopted a big dog from the pound 3 years ago and she is my miracle in life. I would do anything for her.

I'm very good at my job but I hate it because it's design and working with clients and I have such a black and white vision... I'm always right (and truly, most times I am), but the team I work with and the client need convincing and it took them a while until they got to trust me. I never miss a deadline. I'm very rigid and judgy in life. My Myers-Briggs result is INTJ.

I could go on but I would really like somebody to read this and give and opinion. Should I pursue this path, does it fit with being on the spectrum? Or am I just depressed and anxious?

Thank you very much! (please excuse my english)