Published on 12, July, 2020
Since I went 'public' about my ASD diagnosis I've had more than one person say to me 'We're all on the spectrum mate'. At the time I found the comment slightly offensive, as if they were saying, 'You're not the only one who's got issues, just get over it', but on reflection, perhaps they have a point. In this crazy world where the borders of 'normality' are infinitely blurred, could it be that we are all on one big spectrum, but only some of us in the 'zone' that is currently classed as a disorder? I can't help wondering if everyone did the tests and questionnaires that I did when being assessed what percentage of the population would be diagnosed. The very first test I did came as quite a shock because the questions seemed so very appropriate to how I was feeling, and it returned a result of high probability. I can't decide if that's just because I do actually have ASD or because some of those questions would apply to anyone doing the test. I'd be interested to hear people's opinion on this, especially if anyone out there has done the test and returned a negative result i.e. low probability.
Former Member has got me thinking. If we were all autistic then the world would be more set up for us. Shops and supermarkets wouldn't play such loud music or have such bright lights, the world would be a more understanding place with a slower pace of life, collectively everyone would be able to communicate more easily, mental health services would be more effective etc... The list goes on.
You know, one of the things you mention is how loud music in megastores annoys me a lot. I don't go to the store and buy nothing. I usually run away annoyed. In advertising, if you notice it during a TV program, they raise the volume clearly in the breaks. On a subliminal level there is certainly a motivation. But here's that motivation makes me change the channel, I don't find pleasantness but annoyance.
What you write about slower rhythms is interesting because even according to them they would be more advantageous. § Regarding mental health centers, I find that there are heavy organizational deficits, both in structures, colors, writings, and in lighting. During the diagnosis I asked them to turn off an air conditioner. They must have hated me: it was summer and it's very hot here! But the lights were also wrong. I perceived the sizzle of the electric current in the old generation lamps. The old ones bother me a lot. The new ones don't. §The third light in their corridor was about to burn out. A detail (for them )
I agree with everything you say. The music in stores bothers me a lot but i feel completely different in a club. I have real difficulty with the "tinny" sound that comes out of devices when other people listen to youtube etc. I mute or turn down tv adverts and it isnt just the volume but the pace. They are too fast. They do this probably because the internet has given us shorter attention spans.
We bought some new crockery. Now when the person I live with eats from the bowls, the noise of the spoon against the bowl pierces my very core in a way I can't describe.
I used to be able to hear a pipe in a closed cupboard dripping ever so slightly at night.
My neighbour's white security lights make me feel angry.
I could go on.
When people say to you these things don't affect them sp you are just being silly, you end up masking. It can come from sensory aspects as well as social.
I live in a second floor flat overlooking the sea in Norfolk and at night I sit in total darkness with my curtains open so I can see the lights twinkling across The Wash in Lincolnshire. It makes me feel so calm and relaxed, but whenever a car goes by and its headlights bathe everything in stark white light it completely ruins the serenity of it all. I know these people are just harmlessly making their way from A to B but if they could hear what I'm calling them sometimes it would make their ears ring.