Partner struggling in work

Hello Iain, he works in a  small factory and this is mainly the work he has done for the majority of time. He enjoys it as it is repetitive work but becomes stressed when interrupted. I think we will look at going private and getting a diagnosis, thanks for the advice. He is keen to find an employment support scheme, he previously had some help from a scheme in Somerset who were great at talking to his employer but now we have moved we cannot find any similar schemes so he does feel lost with the lack of support. I will mention the roles suggested and see what he thinks, thanks again Iain we really do appreciate the support. x

The buddy system (a bit of an American term) is one he probably needs to ask for and explain. I think this will be tricky as without a diagnosis he will have no rights to ask for "reasonable adjustments" which the disability will entitle him to request.

If you can afford it then I would recommend trying to go private and get a diagnosis as fast as possible so he can supply this and explain to his employer the ways of working that will let them get the best out of him.

It will require a bit of a sales pitch I expect to get them to work with him, but when he presents them with the diagnosis and a note on what their obligations are then he should point out that the things he does well can be made more common if they make the following reasonable changes to the way he works.

There are some good tips on this here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/employment-adjustments-tips

Can you explain his role please? If he is in a role which is customer facing then this is not normally a good fit for autists - too much variability, people trying to transfer stress / responsibility to you and often emotional users.

If it is more back end (eg developer, coder, data base admin) then these are much better suited and can have reasonable adjustments made more easily.

Thinking about potential future roles, he may be well suited to being a baker, cake decorator, food prep etc, but none of these are likely to pay what he receives in his IT role. None of the other options is very translatable into a career of a similar income.

Hello, thank you so much for your advice and completely agree with you, I think something less pressurising would be wise. IT roles sound good, do you know of any courses? Thanks again for replying. x

Hello Iain, this is such helpful information- thank you and I'm sure he'll be reassured to know others have felt similar. With the buddy system - does he ask his employer for this? As he doesn't have a diagnosis of autism he has not mentioned to his employer he feels he might have this but as they keep threatening to fire him he is wondering whether to tell them. It is very frustrating as he was doing really work in his work until the other day when he was constantly interrupted which caused significant stress and he then wasn't reaching the targets. His interests are music, history, cooking and reading. He is very detailed orientated and would like a relatively straight forward job where initiative is not needed too much. Thank you again for your help x

NAS79234 said:

He's found work tricky and has often been told he has no initiative,

He sounds like me when I was in my early 20's - but this probably comes from an autistic trait where we don't know what is expected of us (unless previously shown) and struggle with unexpected or unexplained events where a normal (or neurotypical as we call them) person would have a better chance to work out what to do.

He would probably work much better in a buddy system when starting a new job where the partner is someone who understands autism and will take the time to explain what others may think is obvious.

When in a role where he feels much more empowered then he will be less anxious and probably able to cope with higher levels of stress than previously.

The job centre is about as useful as a chocolate teapot from my (second hand) experience of them. Job hunting personally is the most effective way to go, but first you need to work out what you want to do.

Iain said:

Begin by considering what you are good at. Think about your interests and skills, and how you can realistically translate these into a position that is achievable within the foreseeable future.

This is where he should focus first. What are his interests and strengths. He will have much more chance of finding a career he enjoys and is good in this way.

I'm happy to work through it on this discussion if you like. Please keep any personal information out of it and so long as you are OK with the rest of the site being able to see what we say then I'm happy to take the time to help and ask for input from others as well.

Hi there, 

Thanks for your post. I'm sorry your partner is struggling so badly. 

I feel like, totally from the outside, working a kind of manual target focussed job might not be the best fit for him. Maybe he needs to do something that is more in line with his ability to manage his own time and take breaks when he needs. 

You mentioned he's 35 which is the same age I am. It's by no means too late to re-train and do something new. He would need your support (maybe even financially) to get onto a new path, but generally IT roles are largely at-home based now he could work from anywhere. I know a number of neurodiverse people who prefer to work from home, alone, as it suits them better. 

GOOD LUCK x

Hello Iain, this is so helpful thank you so much for the advice and the book sounds really interesting, I will tell my partner about this and the test too.

In answer to your question, he is 35. He's found work tricky and has often been told he has no initiative, I really feel for him as he is so hardworking but feels misunderstood. 

Do you know if the job centre would be able to find him a suitable role that is less pressurising?

Thanks again for your advice, really appreciate this.

Hello there, it does sound like your partner could do with some direction to find a career that works for him. Can you confirm his age as this may preclude some options from what we can recommend?

The first thing I would do is get him to do a free online test to see if he is probably autistic (it is quite accurate but not 100% so a formal diagnosis would be the best option later on). Use ones from .ORG websites as they are less likely to want to do anything with your data. I would suggest:

https://www.thevividmind.org/blog/test/autism-test-online/

A good book to get his head around the issues here is:

Helping Adults with Asperger's Syndrome Get & Stay Hired - Barbara Bissonnette (2015)
ISBN 9781849057547

Aspergers is an older name for what is now called "low needs autism" if the name hasn't changed again since I last looked. It basically is autists who are able to get by just about in society.

I'll past below part of an article I'm writing about getting autists into work.

How can you turn your skills into a career in which you’ll thrive? Begin by considering what you are good at. Think about your interests and skills, and how you can realistically translate these into a position that is achievable within the foreseeable future. If you enjoy drawing, can you work or train as a graphic designer, photographer, or web designer? If you love video games, you may dream of getting a position as a game designer, and you may be one of the lucky ones to get this type of sought-after position now or in the future. You can also consider ways to apply your love of technology, such as becoming a computer programmer or IT specialist, or finding work in the medical field as an X-ray technician.

The important thing is to be realistic about the immediate future.

Getting a job

Find out what the job is about and what is required. Read the person specification and essential requirements. Base your application on these things.

To get the job, you need to show the interviewers that you are the best person for the job. Your first way to do this is your application.

We autistic people often find it hard to link these things together. Ask someone you trust to help with this so you can fully understand what the job is about and show exactly why you are the best person for that job.

Describe your skills and transferable skills from other parts of your life and work.

Your application should be easy to read and well written; don’t write too much—be concise. The application is your way of getting an interview, and it is important to get it right.

List all qualifications and relevant experience.

There is a load more about interviews but that is getting ahead of ourselves.

What jobs are suitable

Parents and professionals often ask me what jobs are best for people with autism. They hope that I can produce a list of occupations that will guarantee employment success.

Unfortunately, it is not possible to create such a list, because autists vary so widely in their abilities, challenges and need of support. Here are some examples:

accountant
administrative assistant
analyst
bus driver
chemist
claims processor
college professor
computer programmer
consultant
creative writer
customer service representative
data entry clerk
editor
electrician
engineer
fine artist
geographic information system (GIS) technician
graphic artist
grocery bagger
laboratory technician
lawyer
librarian
meteorologist
nurse
paralegal
personal assistant
physician
physicist
political canvasser
production manager
records manager
reporter
retail sales associate
sales manager
screenwriter
sound technician
supply chain manager
teacher (adult education)
teacher (early childhood)
technical documentation writer
veterinarian
warehouse worker
web developer.

That is probably enough to make him anxious so maybe consider it first and let us know if you have any specific questions.