Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I was diagnosed several months ago now, at the age of 32. I felt so understood when I was having my diagnostic assessment, however since receiving diagnosis, I have struggled to find support afterwards. Everything is aimed at children and not adults. I contacted somewhere that sounded promising however they wouldn't give me an appointment as I was outside of the area. I was so disappointed, it sounded like just what I needed, it was advertised as they "help you identify the gaps and barriers you are experiencing to receive the support you need". The area I live in doesn't offer this service. Now I am a bit lost. I filled out a PIP application as advised by the lady who assessed me however I don't want to do nothing, I already have depression and I think not having a job is making this worse. I am unemployed after leaving university as I was doing a course where I had to continuously mask, leaving me exhausted. Since leaving, I have struggled with no sense of purpose. Am I missing something, is there any services for newly diagnosed adults? I was hoping "finding myself" would be empowering however I haven't been offered any interviews since I started disclosing autism on my application forms to employers. I am also a mum of two. I want to be a good mum to my children but feel useless at this due to my fear/anxiety of social situations/crowds so I don't take them out much and try to give them everything they could want at home to compensate. My parents take them out to places when things are on however I feel guilty that I can't just be normal. Does anyone have any advice please? Thank you
Am I missing something, is there any services for newly diagnosed adults?
There is little out there unfortunately, but this site has a weath of info and a user base rich in experience of dealing with the challenges.
For the job applications I would not disclose on the application, only once the job offer is accepted.
You are doing the right thing with your kids in not puting yourself in a position where you are damaging your mental health. Hopefully your partner and/or family can help with the social experience for them while you make the most of the home aspect. Don't feel guilty - autism is a disability and you have to know what is a sensible limitation for what you are able to do.
Have you come to terms with your autism and read up on what it is all about?
There are lots of things we can talk about here so what do you want to cover first?
Thankyou Iain, I knew I was autistic but I guess I am struggling, I thought being given the diagnosis would lead to support with it. Now I somewhat regret having this label. I did consider not including it in applications but there is all talk now of disability confident employers and I didn’t want to mask anymore, so hoped if I was upfront about it I could find a supportive employer from the beginning. I feel like they view it as too much trouble, why would they employ a disabled person if they could take on someone else that they don’t need to make adjustments for. I don’t think I could disclose afterwards as I would have masked to get through and would feel embarrassed and judged to bring it up once in employment. The masking was making my mental health worse. Autism is so misunderstood, people assume you can’t communicate at all which isn’t the case with me personally. It is hard to accept me when it feels like the world doesn’t, however I’m very conscious of taking things the wrong way now too. I don’t think I know where to start, just feeling the job struggle at the moment
I think this says it all, the autism-informational world is quite fragmented and isn’t easy to connect to, so you really need a jumping-off point for discussions; because these rabbit-holes are many, multidisciplinary and weighty..