Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like I’m wasting my life.
Every day consists of much the same thing, watching stuff, reading, listening to music and that’s about it. The same things every day. The same cycle going round and round and round. Today I watched two movies. I watched a couple of episodes of Naruto. And I did a little reading, well, listened to an audiobook. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing all of these things but I deeply wish I could be doing more with my life. I’d love to be out there working, meeting people, making something of my life. But the autism and mental difficulties have put a stop to all of that. I’m so anxious that I struggle to leave the house. My health anxiety is severe, I’m checking myself all throughout the day. I do my temp at least thirty times in half an hour. Always washing my hands. I’ve emailed my GP surgery for help with the autism and anxiety but they CAN’T help through email, want to talk on the phone but that’s no good for me. Can’t really go in to town anymore, get way too dizzy feel like I will fall over.
So I stay at home. Watch movies. Read. The same stuff. I feel like my life is wasted. In the past I have tried to break free from this and tried to better myself but it caused me serious mental problems which resulted in me being detained under the mental health act. The same thing happened to my friend Princess who was a member here but she left and sadly has since died.
It feels like no matter what I’m destined to be this way. But I feel bad for being this way.
Does anyone else get this?
I felt the same and do similar. I break the circle by doing small things, like stepping out the front door for two minutes some days or spending time in the garden and then saying to myself hey you did it, great job. It's a small victory for me. But it's still a victory and I feel good after. It helps build up my confidence and then I can go out, a little further every day. Have you tried this? It works for me :)
Fantastic