Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like I’m wasting my life.
Every day consists of much the same thing, watching stuff, reading, listening to music and that’s about it. The same things every day. The same cycle going round and round and round. Today I watched two movies. I watched a couple of episodes of Naruto. And I did a little reading, well, listened to an audiobook. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing all of these things but I deeply wish I could be doing more with my life. I’d love to be out there working, meeting people, making something of my life. But the autism and mental difficulties have put a stop to all of that. I’m so anxious that I struggle to leave the house. My health anxiety is severe, I’m checking myself all throughout the day. I do my temp at least thirty times in half an hour. Always washing my hands. I’ve emailed my GP surgery for help with the autism and anxiety but they CAN’T help through email, want to talk on the phone but that’s no good for me. Can’t really go in to town anymore, get way too dizzy feel like I will fall over.
So I stay at home. Watch movies. Read. The same stuff. I feel like my life is wasted. In the past I have tried to break free from this and tried to better myself but it caused me serious mental problems which resulted in me being detained under the mental health act. The same thing happened to my friend Princess who was a member here but she left and sadly has since died.
It feels like no matter what I’m destined to be this way. But I feel bad for being this way.
Does anyone else get this?
'Take skilful action'.
This is something I'm working on. Once you watch it learn anything, the next step in moving forward is, to take action.
Only then will your world begin to change, each time you take action you will have changed something for yourself.
Incrementally, if you follow your interests, this will build a good life. You unique path is behind each obstacle.
This is a practice that is hard to start, but done each day it becomes the way