Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I don't know if we are allowed to use real names so I'll introduce myself as Jim. I'm a 29yo male who is on the waiting list for an adult autism assessment. Naturally I have been doing a lot of research and autism is something that describes my life experience very well, more accurately than anything else I have come across so far. However I have come across some stuff that makes me doubt myself constantly, and that would be the differences between how Autistic males and females present. I relate with the female representation heavily even though I identify as a man. I've been using online recourses available to me like the tests on embrace autism and I test very highly in all the relevant areas but the problem I'm facing is that I test abnormally high in area's where autistic females historically test higher than males, such as masking and camouflaging. It's not by a little either, I test higher in those area's than the average autistic female's score. I have tried to look into this but all I find is the differences between males and females and the reasons why females have historically been misdiagnosed because of those differences. I'm afraid that the same is going to happen to me but in reverse, that because I'm a male but perhaps present more female autistic traits, I will be misdiagnosed. I know that people present differently and that autism can be very unique between individuals but I am scared regardless. Does anyone have any experience or knowledge they are willing to share on this?
Every autistic person is different, with a mosaic of traits. I score higher than the average neurotypical (male or female), and way higher than average autistic person in the 'reading emotions from the eyes test', but I am still autistic.
I also present more as female autistic than male autistic despite being cis male and am good at masking. I still got diagnosed. I would just make clear to the assessor that you are good at masking and state the difficulties that you have in masking, that it's an effort and is draining.
NAS87837 said: I'm afraid that the same is going to happen to me but in reverse, that because I'm a male but perhaps present more female autistic traits, I will be misdiagnosed.
TBH I have a mixed presentation but they clocked me quite young as autistic. You should just explain you feel you have a different presentation than might be expected when it comes to your assessment, tbh much as Battybats said there isn't really a male or female presentation there is just a presentation that is more common for men and boys and a presentation that is more common in women and girls, it's not set in stone that you have to present one way or another just because of your gonadal sex when it comes to autism. Also that isn't actually new knowlege when it comes to autism diagnosis, the assessor should really listen to you when you tell them about your experiences and how you feel and recognise that anyway if they are any kind of decent as an assessor and have been keeping up to date at all in the last decade. So you need not worry.
It's often described as female presentation because it's more common for autism to look like that in women- but that doesn't mean there are no men who are autistic in that way. Often if a man's autism has been missed in childhood/adolescence they are more likely to have been masking highly as many women do.
The YouTube channel 'Autism from the inside' might be helpful to you as it's run and presented by a man who realised he was autistic at around the same age as you are now. He talks a lot about things like masking and it may be helpful for you to hear about it from another late-diagnosed man.
As far as diagnosis goes, ideally you would be assessed by someone who fully understands what autism looks like in people who have not been diagnosed until well into adulthood. You might want to do the CAT-Q questionnaire and take the results with you if you're concerned that your assessors will miss your masking due to your gender.