Published on 12, July, 2020
So, I'm going to see this girl that I like next month (August)
The dates I'm going are 2 August, 9 August, 17 August, and 24 August.
However she doesn't want a romantic relationship and I need to stay away from her.
What should I do?
Thanks,
Did she tell you that you can't be around her, or have you just realised that you're in too deep and that you can't handle seeing her as much? If it's the former then you should cancel your plans to see her, as it's important to respect boundaries and she will appreciate it. If it's the latter then it sounds like you could use some tools for managing your emotional state a bit - these can be learned!
If I'm obsessing over someone I know there are a few behaviours I tend to fall into:
These are all natural behaviours that I've adopted to make myself feel more in control and protect myself from getting hurt. However they can end up being unhelpful.
The key question for me is what I am getting from being around the person. If it's emotional regulation then I've been working on trying to do this for myself instead (self soothing behaviour, calm music, stretches, exercise, whatever makes me feel safe and relaxed). If I'm trying to figure out how they feel (sounds like you have a clear answer in this case) then I try to remind myself that it's not something I have to deal with urgently and I try to avoid monitoring too much. It is what it is, and I can't change how they feel through some magical sequence of behaviour.
Ultimately you'll feel better if you have other things in your diary to keep you distracted for a while either way. I hope this is relevant, sorry if its a bit of a ramble.
One of my friends moved back to the town. Always wanting to meet up, turning up unannounced and I'm trying to explain I am a member of a group. Maybe a fixation or seeing me around and think I'm free.
Other people got this fixation of asking questions like are you working? Are you on your way to work? Etc.