Experience of old people with autism/Asperger’s

Very shy, anxious and does not speak in class, would have been my external description as a child. I was entirely silent (selective mutism) for the first 3 months or so of infant school. I think that my sensory difficulties with some textures and disliking having oily or greasy fingers (amongst other things) would have been put down to finickiness, I was saved, socially, by two things: I was an unusually good visual artist from a young age and I would please other kids by drawing anything they asked for, I had an enquiring mind and a retentive memory so I could talk in an informed way to any other child about virtually anything that particularly interested them (other than sport!). I was born in the early 1960s.

I used to have aversion to greasy, oily or the other way, sticky or even dried out fingers. used to either be washing my hands or licking my fingers frequently. nobody ever commented on this or anything else (fascination with spinning wheels, being stressed out by loud noises (fireworks esp) or unable to come out of some kind of hyper vigilant state at birthday parties etc with balloons present). Had to do work experience later on in school and the boss of the company had to do a report on me for the school stating I was "pathologically shy" (I would disappear off into the storage room now and again) and made him a cup of tea in a small soup bowl etc. He wrote that I needed some kind of counselling. I don't think the school even read it. Like you say, there was nothing there to pick up on anything when I was at school (80s - 90s) for "low needs" despite even myself once, after being invited to talk about things specifically, detailing an ongoing dread and anxiety about doing things like using a bus etc. to one of the teachers at secondary school.

Looking back, I think there were a few children who I think were in a similar situation.

Going back further then the 80s? I'm convinced my mum is on the spectrum. There was nothing from her time in place to pick up on anything like that.

I used to have aversion to greasy, oily or the other way, sticky or even dried out fingers. used to either be washing my hands or licking my fingers frequently. nobody ever commented on this or anything else (fascination with spinning wheels, being stressed out by loud noises (fireworks esp) or unable to come out of some kind of hyper vigilant state at birthday parties etc with balloons present). Had to do work experience later on in school and the boss of the company had to do a report on me for the school stating I was "pathologically shy" (I would disappear off into the storage room now and again) and made him a cup of tea in a small soup bowl etc. He wrote that I needed some kind of counselling. I don't think the school even read it. Like you say, there was nothing there to pick up on anything when I was at school (80s - 90s) for "low needs" despite even myself once, after being invited to talk about things specifically, detailing an ongoing dread and anxiety about doing things like using a bus etc. to one of the teachers at secondary school.

Looking back, I think there were a few children who I think were in a similar situation.

Going back further then the 80s? I'm convinced my mum is on the spectrum. There was nothing from her time in place to pick up on anything like that.

Yeh I’ve read that article before. It’s a good article, it makes you wonder. I also struggle with anxiety but don’t know why. Do you struggle with this also?

Yellow tree 118 said:

I wonder why alcohol has such a profound affect on autistic people

It lowers the inhibitions which are caused by anxiety and allows us to say "oh fluff you" to the inner demons in order to relax.

It can also bring its own demons (easy to anger, paranoia etc) so should be used with caution. Addiction is one of these and I believe studies show around 65% of people admitted to alcohol rehab were sufferes of social anxiety (not just autists though).

There is quite an interesting article about it here:

www.autism.org.uk/.../autism-alcohol

I can completely relate to you with regards to the alcohol helping to relax. In my personal experience I have not found yet something as powerful as alcohol for making me feel relaxed and calm. I would talk a lot more when I was drinking and felt more free in a way. That was why I had to quit drinking though and it has been 3 years since I last drank and I still miss it a lot but I can definetly resist the temptation. I may drink again in the future depending on my circumstances but if I have to live without it for the rest of my life then so be it. Anxiety levels are very high for me on a daily basis and my emotions can be quite all over the place at times. I wonder why alcohol has such a profound affect on autistic people as every autistic person I have met said they needed alcohol to live and function. There must be something about alcohol that makes it have that affect on autistic people. Very interesting.

Yeah, well with my Mum, thinking back, my Dad had tried teaching her to drive, she ended up getting some lessons in the end and passed a test eventually. We got a second hand automatic car and she must have driven independently for about five or six times then refused to do so again. She's never driven since, doesn't have a car. My Dad died 20 odd years ago, quite young. She never went out socialising in all the time I can remember. She used to get dragged down to the pub with my Dad on xmas eve. That was about it. I think she hated the whole experience. She has no real friends, has never gone out of her way to make any.

I remember I was talking to her (or at her as I was probably doing one of my "info dumps" at the time) on the phone about 9 months ago saying I thought I have autism and she just changed the subject immediately which is completely out of character for her. I was maybe talking about childhood stuff - perhaps she thought there was something they should have picked up on, I don't know.

The alcohol is an interesting point. I was always a heavy drinker from my early twenties, not just from the perspective of using it in order to try to socialise better* but also just drinking in the house on an evening to wind down. I don't mean this in the sense of alcoholism, I completely stopped drinking when my partner and I were trying to conceive children due to difficulties, probably for 18 months, and I've been tee-total for the last 4 years as I'm older now, stopping hasn't been a problem but coincidentally I've been at my worst from a mental health perspective in those last four years. I think I was using it to dampen everything down, be able to switch off and try to relax. Makes me wonder how much of the alcohol use is due to addiction or due to, like you say, using it to mask or cope in general. I was never a drunk either, always had my wits about me still with it but could relax a lot more.

*) not sure better is the right word here.

It must have been a hard time for you and your mum. I think autism probably has been around for along time but we never thought much of it until recently. I am convinced my mum is autistic and her dad (my grandad). My granda was born in the 40’s I think and he like my mother used alcohol to mask his issues his entire life.