Published on 12, July, 2020
So now I've known this girl for 5 years. I have a crush on her and I love her kisses from her and I turned red when she kissed me on the hand. She's my first kiss. I had my first kiss on Monday 8 August 2022. And now I want more kisses from her, me and her have had 6 kisses in total and that's impossible now because of 2 reasons, because the club that we both go to says kissing is inappropriate and last Monday I asked her to kiss me and she said no. She doesn't even want to meet up outside the club so I can kiss her. All my friends and the club leaders say I can't kiss my crush inside the club. I promised my youth leaders I won't kiss anyone. I keep on getting in trouble for trying to kiss girls.
I phoned her today and she said over the phone that she will tell my youth leader if I don't leave her alone and when I asked her to go out to town with her.
Thanks,
I really want a girlfriend and that I can kiss.
Before you kiss anyone, you need to make sure that you are in a relationship or dating. You will know this by how many times you meet with just the two of you.
She will tell you how much she likes you, and she will ask to see you again, or suggest more dates. When you get to this point, you can ask for a kiss. If she says no, respect that. Even if you are dating, she can still say no.
No offence but that’s not entirely true. There are plenty of people who aren’t in relationships and aren’t dating who are happy to kiss each other and do a hell of a lot more than kissing.
let’s not confuse this guy by trying to oversimplify things. we don’t want to come across as patronising and I’m sure he is aware that the world doesn’t work that way, physical relationships are more nuanced than you’ve just presented them.
also meeting people alone frequently doesn’t equate to dating. otherwise I’d be dating my brother.
Did you read his post? He ‘keeps’ getting in trouble for trying to kiss girls. This is an issue. I’ve simplified things so he understands what IS and ISN’T appropriate. We are all on different areas of the spectrum and some of us can’t navigate the grey areas very well. If he doesn’t know he can’t kiss who he wants, he doesn’t realise the signs of being in a relationship….
Except it entirely unclear if that’s because he’s trying to force people to kiss him who don’t want to, which is what I think you are assuming. and the alternative which is he is expressing an interest in kissing, and the club in question is so concerned about being accused of allowing so-called predatory behaviour that they are infantilising him and telling him that this sort of thing is not acceptable for him. This is more or less what I am assuming.
’trying to kiss girls,’ could very easily be something like saying things like, ‘you are very pretty I would like to kiss you if that’s ok.’ While I appreciate it might make some people uncomfortable if it came out of the blue, that is hardly the Titanic crisis you seem to think it is.
relationships are almost 100% grey areas. If you want autistic people to avoid grey areas or always err on the side of caution, that’s basically the same thing as saying autistic people don’t get to have relationships.
I understand kissing isn't appropriate in the clubs. The thing is I'm desperate for a relationship and kisses at the moment.