Feeling upset by the way people talk about autism even though they don’t mean to

Hi, It has happened a few times now that I have felt quite upset and triggered by the way people talk about autism. I now work as a developmental neurobiologist so inevitably I end up in situations at work where autism is being mentioned or talked about. For example today, someone defined autistic traits as ‘being unable to act in a social manner and not being able to perform in society’. Then there have been numerous occasions where autism is referred to as a ‘developmental disorder’ , people talk about deficits, treatment etc.  I know this isn’t meant to be upsetting and I am not expecting people to change how they talk about it but I still find this upsetting. I then wonder - am I really that broken? It also makes me worry what people would think about me if they knew I was autistic- would they then see me as an unsociable person unable to perform in society? I am feeling quite insecure and overwhelmed anyways at the moment with new work, recently moving etc, so I am being overly sensitive and crippled from low confidence in myself anyways. I almost burst into tears today because I felt so inadequate as I was listening to all this talk about how dysfunctional autistic people are. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with these situations? I feel like there are so many misconceptions about autistic people out there that lots of people must have experienced similar in various settings. 

Parents
  • NAS describes autism as a developmental disability:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

    Social and communication difficulties are part of the diagnosis (see 'Characteristics of Autism'):

    https://autismhampshire.org.uk/about-autism/what-is-autism

    As it's a spectrum, some people will experience those issues mentioned and others will experience but be able to survive by 'masking' in social situations.

    I'm not sure myself that what you say re 'misconceptions' is correct ...

    It's one of the issues I have with the use of  'spectrum', and the use of 'high' and 'low' functioning as descriptors becoming less popular.

  • Hi, thanks for you reply. It sounds like we have different experiences and views on this. I am aware of the definition and diagnostic criteria for autism (I extensively researched this when it was first suggested that I might be autistic). I am not saying that being autistic doesn't bring its challenges with it, but I still find it triggering when it is portrayed as something very detrimental and defective. I know plenty of autistic people who 'perform very well in society' (to reuse today's words). I might not feel like I am doing great at present but I still don't feel like this is an accurate description. Maybe I am just being overly sensitive. I often get the sense though that when you say autistic or autism, people think of the stereotype (barely talking or not talking at all, flapping with hands, probably obsessed with trains and maybe even intellecually disabled)- of course that can be the case, but autistic people are as diverse as neurotypicals. This is what I meant with misconception... that people just think of the 'stereotype'. 

  • And what really strikes me is that these people giving these talks about autism almost certainly have autistic researchers in their team that they work with on a daily basis and respect etc. but they just don't know they are autistic. There just seems to be this huge mismatch in how they talk about autism and the reality.

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  • And what really strikes me is that these people giving these talks about autism almost certainly have autistic researchers in their team that they work with on a daily basis and respect etc. but they just don't know they are autistic. There just seems to be this huge mismatch in how they talk about autism and the reality.

Children
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