Changing your given name

I changed my surname a few years ago and like many others here, I found it a straight forward process. I took my Great-grandfathers name for many reasons but mainly to move on after years of abuse. It is liberating and I wished I had done it years ago.  

It is not silly to change your name at all, many people do this. 

You have to change it legally and by deedpoll, it does not cost a great deal, make sure to research as there are lots of different companies that offer name changes, make sure it is a proper company and do a price comparison.

Take your time choosing your name. and then try it out for a bit. Do you have a trusted friend who could call you that name for a while to see how you feel about being called that name? 

you might wish to narrow down to two to three possible names and then you can go through the process of picking from that. 

Think carefully about the name you will pick, and google it to see what your new name/surname will mean etc. and you can always ask the opinion of someone else. 

there is no point in sticking with a name you do not like. 

I have always been comfortable with my name. My mother's family have a lot of rather unusual given names (such as Theodore), so I do not have a middle name, as my father didn't want me saddled with anything strange. My first name is very useful, as, with changes in pronunciation and the odd minor spelling difference, it is universal in western and central European (and some eastern European) languages and cultures. My surname has an aura of middle-class English respectability about it, which is OK.

My given one. Maybe I'm lucky that my parents chose a name that has a nice meaning or maybe I don't care too much about which name I have. I see it as a way for people to call me or useful in paperwork but not something that defines me, but I see lot of things this way hehe. I think I'd have tattooed it whatever it was ..

I grew up with a name that was very unusual at the time, and when I introduced myself people would furrow their brows at me, or get it wrong.  This led to a lot of negative first impressions on both sides, and I often felt like people were upset with me just because of my name.  It made it even more difficult to connect.  Not only was I weirdo, I was the weirdo with the weird name.

I also had several "adverse childhood experiences" including abuse.  So when I left home I started introducing myself as a new name based on a book that I loved, and now when I tell people my name they smile at me instead.

I've been planning to get my name changed by deed poll but life has a habit of getting in the way.  I recently started using my preferred name at work and it's made such a difference because I'm not constantly reminded of all the negative associations of my old name.  I feel more fully like me, like a butterfly coming out of their cocoon.

I kept my name. For one I like it - Matthew - and for another I feel like my name is the first gift my parents ever gave to me and I wouldn't ever want to get rid of that.

your given name or your new changed name?   I get it though, if you really love your name you feel proud of it, I imagine my new name on a necklace!

yes I have legal and preferred but I don't like either so will probably change to new name when my head is abit clearer.

totally understand this and sounds like a good plan!

I'm sorry to hear about that abusive ****.  Yes I wondered how easy or how long it might take for people to call me the new name and I totally get that it is an important part of trauma healing for me.  thankyou 

I like it so much, I tattooed it on me 

While I can't offer any advice, I can tell you that I have been thinking of changing my last name to my mother's maiden name for the past few months since I don't want to be associated with my father's side of the family.  I was told to sit on it, so I'm giving it a year.  If I still feel like changing my name in a year, then I'm going through with it.  It's my name, so I'll make it whatever I want.

I've got a legal name and a preferred name. People still get this wrong. I have someone who calls me Rose which is annoying.

Ages ago I had to sign a document for someone who wanted to change a name. I wasn't keen, but did it anyway.

My name was also taken in vain by an abusive peice of crap, so I just changed it by deedpoll and have never looked back, there was another reason too but this one is the more key point relevant to your issue I think.
Getting other people to get on board can take time though, especially if they are in the habit of calling you the defunct name and it can feel really disrespectful, but eventually they get the hang of it if they respect you at all to stick with it.
It is really liberating though, like taking another step into being your own person, it was a vital part of my trauma recovery imo.

wow that's good news, I guess I've just got to go for it, I'm dithering too much about it! thank you :)

I've changed mine. It's surprisingly straightforward, and free other than the cost of getting new ID (I haven't bothered with passport and my driving license was due for renewal anyway). You can always change it again if you change your mind!