Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, recently to many people in my life (my boyfriend, my two closest friends etc, work) I just keep cancelling so last minute because i just think of how exhausting it is having to be around people and mask. It will always be after i’ve talking about it and said i will for like a week, and then finally when it comes down to having to get ready and leave I just feel frozen.
This makes me feel so bad because i keep disappointing people, just wondering what people here think about it?
Should i start trying to go anyway or is it a better idea to avoid the situations that i know stress me out?
Also, does anyone have any tips particularly for female masking - have you ever tried to not mask? What happened?
I’ve tried to adopt a ‘no dread’ calendar. Basically, if the social appointment is something that I will dread or find too taxing, then I don’t agree to it. Lately, I try not to confirm attendance to anything until the day before, so I can see how I feel and make a decision accordingly. If the others are accepting of your autism, this should be tolerated, without anyone taking it personally. No one with your best interests at heart will want social arrangements to tire you out or cause you to burn out. Regarding masking less, gosh it is hard. I’m so used to putting on a performance whenever I’m around literally anyone that it is hard to even know what my non-masking self is actually like. What I do know is that I allow myself to make less eye contact now, and try to be more accepting of my stumbling over my speech and such like. Slow steps, but I feel more comfortable with it, so I guess it is less masking behaviour,