Published on 12, July, 2020
This may be more appropriate for the older members, but younger ones may find it useful and may have some advice to give.
My really big one is I wish I was less of a 'people pleaser', less compliant.
I think I have been quite easily manipulated during my life and if I hadn't been, my life would have taken a different course.
I have finally learnt to say 'no' and am trying hard to 'please myself'.
What about you?
Don't be a people pleaser. Do what you want, not what others want, it's ok not to be ok... You don't have to be ok all the time, when things get bad remember that it's just a bad day and there will be a good day again soon. Treasure the time with those you love, no one is forever.
This is something I wish I'd been more aware of during my teens. I was a people pleaser then, I always did what others wanted and I tried to be ok all the time and gave myself little time to be myself. It caused more harm than good.
"Don't be a people pleaser" is darn good advice that I wish I'd had (or heeded) when I was younger.
Equally cats have taught me that doing stuff I would very much rather not do now, can give collosal rewards, so as with many things this all gets a bit nuanced.
"Pleasing people" by making them happy in some way or helping them achieve stuff they previously could not without unexpected help is very much worth doing sometimes and an absolute waste of time with others.
I got fed up with being sick of other people and decided to find ways of enjoying them more. Finding nice ways to be pleased by people is very empowering (and a bit enslaving) at the same time.