Coping with others

I had that a lot.  I still do, but it's much less now.  The following 3 things helped me improve.  One, was therapy with a psychologist that had expertise in complex PTSD.  The process was hard and painful.  It involved extensive journaling and processing trauma.  However, it was ultimately so worth it.  Two, there's a book called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson that can help with validation, insight, and advice.  Three, was writing things out.  It was like journaling, but without the prompts of the therapeutic program I completed.  I wrote letters to my parents, theories on life and spirituality.  This helped me make sense of the chaos that was going on in my mind because I would otherwise jump from one thought train to another without reaching comprehensive and congruent conclusions.  Maybe these would be helpful for you too.

During therapy, there was a major moment that stuck out.  I was explaining my negative thoughts about myself to my therapist.  She asked me where I got those from.  I said that at first mostly my father, and then other people later on would say similar things.  She had me explain who my father was, which was a pretty abusive person.  Once I did that, she said, "Okay, everything your father has ever told you was a lie."  That was so insightful and liberating, that I have never forgotten it.  I can be whatever I am, and no one else will ever define me again.

I had that a lot.  I still do, but it's much less now.  The following 3 things helped me improve.  One, was therapy with a psychologist that had expertise in complex PTSD.  The process was hard and painful.  It involved extensive journaling and processing trauma.  However, it was ultimately so worth it.  Two, there's a book called "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson that can help with validation, insight, and advice.  Three, was writing things out.  It was like journaling, but without the prompts of the therapeutic program I completed.  I wrote letters to my parents, theories on life and spirituality.  This helped me make sense of the chaos that was going on in my mind because I would otherwise jump from one thought train to another without reaching comprehensive and congruent conclusions.  Maybe these would be helpful for you too.

During therapy, there was a major moment that stuck out.  I was explaining my negative thoughts about myself to my therapist.  She asked me where I got those from.  I said that at first mostly my father, and then other people later on would say similar things.  She had me explain who my father was, which was a pretty abusive person.  Once I did that, she said, "Okay, everything your father has ever told you was a lie."  That was so insightful and liberating, that I have never forgotten it.  I can be whatever I am, and no one else will ever define me again.