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Is this ASD?

NAS86507
over 1 year ago
Long post sorry!!
Any thoughts, or suggestions on the below. Agree / disagree with my take? How do you manage frustrations and remember to focus on the today?
I was diagnosed with ADHD after a life time struggling, when i was 45. The GP wont send me for an ASD assessment because <insert reasons> but I wonder if it plays a part in my struggles.
I was speaking to an old school friend last year and convinced him to try his hand at university. He went for 2 months before getting kicked out but he is considering retrying this year.
He has his reason as to why what transpired happened and what led him to be asked to leave the course - just or unjust, reasons as to what sparked his story, are immaterial. as I think it's more down to how he reacted to the fallout that became the issue.
I would describe myself as someone who makes mountains out of molehills. They are legit molehills but ones that most people can just sidestep while traveling through life. They might return to remove their molehills if and when they have the spare energy and time! I instead derail life until the unfixable is fixed at the expense of almost everything else!
When I spoke to him again tonight,I hear him doing the same as me even if with a different scenario. So with that said, am I creating a narrative to fit my thinking - creating an excuse - or does the email I sent him make sense?
Theres no offence meant to anyone with a degree btw! 
"A point to remember, the course you chose is, for the most part, irrelevant to your end game.
You are looking for a qualification that might put you in the ballpark for a job you will enjoy but most university courses are 95% regurgitation. It's your dissertation and extra curriculum learning that will give you the extra "points" to either show ability for a job you will enjoy or enter into post-grad courses and academia.
The BSc/Ba is simply to give yourself a 3-year window to put down roots, funded by .gov.UK, and the time to build networks on top of the course. networks for academic / careers but equally, if not more importantly, social ones eg. hobbies, clubs, etc that feed the mind and give you pleasure because I'd wager the courses available to you, as far as the curriculums as written, won't be in-depth enough to inspire and challenge you long enough to keep you engaged - especially at the pace delivered.
I've struggled at every job I've had due to everything but the work!! And probably because my entire focus has been on trying to find "true" enjoyment in the job rather than focusing on myself. Burning my energy desperately fighting to find satisfaction in a job that has little interest to me rather than just doing it and remembering it's just a stepping stone.
We need to remember what we are doing today is just a stepping stone! And to direct our energy outside of the treadmill (be that an academic or a work one!). Searching for the ideal course/job and hoping it gives us all that we need will almost certainly fail.
As arrogant and grandiose as it sounds, our brains are just not geared up to enjoy the level of qualification or jobs we are likely to obtain as a first step.
I accept my ADHD/ASD, not as an excuse or admittance of something broken in me but as a reason I've failed to notice my own faults.
We are too bright, NOT to notice all the "worlds/jobs/course etc etc." wasted effort, useless inefficient processes, wasted time, the pointlessness of hurdle X, inequality of peers' efforts, additional responsibilities because you are able but unrewarded for them, .... a huge list of all that's wrong. but we are not in a minority here!
However, where I differ from my peers is in how my ADHD/ASD has spent a lifetime burning my energy as frustration as it loses sight of tomorrow and latches onto the endless trivial issue of the day.
ie. That speech my mum once tried to lecture me with, when demanding I study to get into Oxbridge, the "If you don't study you'll end up spending a life working in jobs and with people who can't even see the gate let alone have a clue how to open it"
I took her words as snobbery! I resented how she made it sound that she believed my having been born with a high IQ entitled me to more than others, It probably was snobbery but maybe they were also driven by her being wired like me.
We need to remember what we do as a job/course et al is just the vehicle we are driving. Stop putting our efforts into searching for the ideal vehicle and instead remember to enjoy the scenery while we are driving. We get to pick some of the scenery even if the car we have got to drive isn't ideal!
We both have the "IQ" ability to do almost anything we chose. We just need to figure out how to stop fighting the world. Even if we want to believe the world is fighting unfairly with us (it does with nearly everyone!!), we need to accept it will frustrate us but refuse to allow ourselves to use our energy fighting back.
ADHD/ASD comes with a small energy power pack!!!
They also come with a low tolerance for injustices, inequality, and illogical wokeness. It does not excuse any of what eats away at us. But my allowing those frustrations to hold me back is, for lack of a better phrase and no pun intended towards my ear issue, just letting the world add insult to injury."
Parents Reply Children
  • over 1 year ago in reply to SarahMod

    mmm well mmm

    I spent 15 years telling my Dr that "I know what i want to do, Know i can do it, but i either never get around to starting or give up within days of trying" - "I get easily wound up and frustrated and have walking out of yet another jobs for things I know others consider molehills" - of course that was diagnosed as depression....

    A mental health review, I was refered to in 2015, due treatment ressistant depression, reported "more frsutrated than depressed is my objective view" "ambitious, opptermistic about his future" "strong feelings towards equality and injustice" etc etc - conculstion "try a different SSRI for depression"

    That was done by a mental health nurse who later stated ADHD is misbehaving at school and not living up to potential. He claimed they wern't in my report (aged 45!) despite him writing how we talked about how I would get battered almost weekly for not living up to potential....

    I eventually got an NHS referal for an ADHD assessment early 2020 - still waiting - currently a 5+ year wait for that with the CWP

    I went the right to choose route, and got a diagnosis for ADHD that my Dr wont accept. He wont refer for an  ASD assessmen until the NHS has redone the ADHD one, and will only refer if they suggest to.

    So I'm looking circa 2030 or so before anything "official" - assuming the person I'm sent to see has a better understanding of the conditions they are suppose to be assessing for than the last guy.