Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve just got a new support worker and she’s also a qualified swimming instructor, I mentioned that it would be cool to get swimming certificates, anyway, she’s assessed me at a stage 6 in swimming apparently there’s 10stages, Which is really good, I do like improving and learning, but I’m also a little competitive, when I go swimming with my other support workers, I like that I can beat them and swim faster than them (that’s me being competitive in my head) I guess because over the next three weeks from Monday, my mums going to be away (shes going to help my sister who’s having another baby in about 9 more days) It will feel a bit different at home, my mums husband is staying at home with me, and he’s good, But I guess because of different things coming up and have had a few busy afternoons this week, I felt a bit more on edge in my support session at swimming today. (I don’t know if what I’m feeling deep down it is all about doing the swimming lesson sessions and it not feeling as relaxed as before ….getting me practicing the butterfly stroke to sign off on stage 6, I never liked that stroke, it doesn’t feel natural, its really hard in my body’s tensions, muscles or is what I’m feeling inside about changes coming up?)
I havent done swimming lessons for ages and I have a low self esteem and I know I’m sensitive to whenever I hear that Im not doing something quite right? Because I’ve never felt good at anything, I enjoy swimming for fun and my own fitness and helps to relax my muscles in the water, (as I often feel tense) however fast I swim,I like to feel I can swim well (I’m not trying to be an Olympic swimmier! I know I’m getting good exercise. I have to be careful on not becoming obsessed with exercise like I have done in the past and then triggers my eating disorder. I don’t want to enter any competitions or challenges in swimming,
yeah I don’t know how to explain this all to my new support worker, because I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Im Autistic and having little changes (even like on Thursday, I had a different lunch out to what I normally have on a Thursday, I can do different but inside me, it just feels uncomfortable/uneasy)
I worry so much about so many little things, is anyone else the same?
If you can do fly you are a good swimmer. If a coach/instructor points out something you might change in your stroke, this is because it will make you a better swimmer, rather than because you are doing something wrong. They are getting you to fine tune, which even the finest Olympic medallists do.
I learnt to do fly properly only 2 years ago (I am an ancient 66 years old). It is a hard stroke to master and benefits from having good core strength. Often I will only do a dozen strokes, but I love the rolling body motions with the double kick, so I often leave out the arm action and wiggle my way for a few lengths. Fun.
As to explaining to your new SW, I would show her what you have written above. It shows how you are a considerate person, but also aware of your needs and issues.