Are autistic people known for being wild in bed and actively sought out by NTs? I saw a post on reddit where an NT said they did that and implied that it's common knowledge that some NTs do that because autistic people have that reputation. Anyone know?
Yes I was just mussing that it’s almost the opposite of casual sex. Some one who wants only casual sex wants a sexual interaction but not a romantic one. Where as some ace people want a romantic relationship without sexual interaction.
From each persons perspective the other is kind of pointless in their efforts. Like an NPC put in a game that doesn’t do anything but fill out a crowd.
So close and yet so far, bear in mind being asexual doesn't actually have any bearing of if a person wants a relationship that is serious or casual. For all we know HP35 is looking for another asexual for a long term monogamous relationship, possibly even a soulmate to share teh rest of their life with.
It’s basically inverse casual sex. there are people who want casual sex that involves the orgasm but doesn’t necessarily involve the intimacy and hypothetically speaking it can be the other way around to.
Aye that's it.
No I do think I understand this one. One can desire the romantic closeness of intimate conversation and honesty and commitment to another human being. And also a lot of the platonic physical affection that comes with those sorts of relationships, hugging and just generally being close and affectionate to another person, without actually wanting to do anything sexual; something that would involve or naturally lead to an orgasm.
I experience romantic attraction.
so your not asexual then?
You know I think it’s important to set straight that the manipulation of autistic people into sexual situations is not just a question of lies of love. people saying ‘oh but I love you so you must do this for me’ or ‘if you really loved me you would do this for me’ or ‘everybody else is doing it.’ yes that sort of manipulation does happen but there is another very important form of manipulation that can take place.
that’s manipulation in the form of simple aggressive bullying. Autistic people from a very young age are often getting into conflict unintentionally and adults around them typically blame them for this. There is a tendency to internalise that blame to believe that all conflict that occurs is their fault and if they don’t avoid conflict they are bad people. Parents foolishly say things like well if you just ignore them they’ll stop bullying you which of course ignore the fact but many bullies do not merely bully to amuse themselves they bully because they want something; lunch money or some other thing.
unfortunately it’s the same with sex. these autistic people can grow up to be just afraid to assert them selves, to say no and unfortunately that Marks some out as targets for bullying and also for sexual bullying where bullies will attempt to get them to agree to sexual things to give them sexual favours because they know they are adverse to conflict and that they are afraid to say no.
and this can trigger a vicious cycle because furthermore they are bullied for more they are afraid to say no more passive they become which marks them out more clearly as targets for exactly the sort of treatment that they are hoping to avoid.
It starts off subtly with so-called soft no’s and soon they just don’t even say no soon they even say yes until people who aren’t even bullying them they say yes to not because they’re being bullied but because they’re now so conditioned to fear any level of assertiveness but saying no it’s just too difficult for them
it starts off subtly with so-called soft ‘no’s’ and soon they just don’t even say no, soon they even say yes; until people who aren’t even bullying them they say yes to not because they want to but they’re now so conditioned to fear any level of assertiveness or directness that saying no it’s just too difficult for them.
And I’m not suggesting for a moment that individuals who have had this experience are in any way to blame. I am however saying that this is a very good reason why it’s important from a very early age to teach autistic children that conflict is okay and that there are situations in which aggression is appropriate. I think for autistic people more than most people ‘no’ has to mean no and ‘no’ has to be said when you mean no. I think that’s one of the few ways for us to be clear navigating these sorts of situations. We need to teach our children hard direct nos as the norm.
I can't remember exactly, but I think I may have stumbled upon it in an autism sub. And yes, while it is one person's idea, it did have enough upvotes to show others agreed. They even had a joke name for it that I think would be considered inappropriate to post in this forum, but it started with "autt" for "autism" and a vulgar word for female genitals.
If I ever do it again, it will be with someone who's is prepared to talk about it properly so it doesn't feel like I'm tying to change a tire in the rain with no experience.
Yes! Communication is the key.
Yep! I just got out of a relationship with a covert narc that manipulated and hurt me for pleasure. Even scarier is that she was a mental health counselor herself, so she had academic training and clinical experience to know how to manipulate even better. I've gone no contact and, despite the post-narcissistic abuse symptoms/pain, my life has improved vastly.
Oh, diddums. A complete lack of attention is not your absolutely ideal scenario. Poor, poor, you.
Look I've attempted to be polite here and engage in a rational discussion even though from my point of view you don't seem to want to approach things rationally at all but instead rely on spurious hyperbole. But if you are going to mock me frankly I no longer care. If anyone else has anything constructive to say I'm happy to hear it. But with you, specifically you HP35, on this topic for now I'm done with you.
That's because you're arrogant and women don't see you as a safe person to confide in. Almost every person interpreted as female has these experiences regularly.
Being autistic makes you a massive outlier, so I guess society is justified in not believing you about any of your experiences. You don't really have sensory or communication differences, right? You're making them up!
Oh, diddums. A complete lack of attention is not your absolutely ideal scenario. Poor, poor, you. That is absolutely as bad as never feeling safe and having people shove things inside your body causing agony and trauma.
It is absolutely disgusting that you are still pretending that being allowed to live your life in peace is somehow worse than being verbally and physically abused on a regular basis.
Bluntly I don't believe you. Or more specifically I don't believe your personal experience is representative. It sounds like you had some awful experiences and I'm sorry for that but I don't think that makes it at all typical. If nothing else being ace makes you a massive outlier. Also you're misrepresenting what I said.
But even if it was it doesn't invalidate the point that a complete lack of attention is, for some people, undesirable.
'I'm in a rush sorry I don't have time for this etc.'
Using this response results in verbal abuse 90% of the time. About 50% of the time there are specific threats made. Sometimes there is physical aggression (grabbing, chasing, accelerating vehicle towards me, etc).
It's only recently (since I started presenting male) that I've started to have days outside without unsolicited interactions.
In private contexts, I don't think I've ever had a "no" be immediately accepted without the guy trying again at some point. I've been in situations where the choice is either give in, not get any sleep all night because he will wake me up every 10 minutes to check if I've changed my mind, or leave my home and find somewhere else to sleep at midnight.
It is absolutely disgusting that you are still pretending that being allowed to live your life in peace is somehow worse than being verbally and physically abused on a regular basis.
HI (NSFW). I wonder what made you search out such a post on reddit. What were you hoping to discover about autism and sexuality? I can say that the post you describe having read is just one person's opinion expressed on a discussion website and there is no evidence to suggest that autistic individuals have a reputation for being "wild in bed" (whatever that means) nor is there any evidence to suggest that they are actively sought out by neurotypical individuals for sexual encounters because of such a reputation. Sexual behavior is a personal matter that should be approached with respect, consent, and consideration for individual preferences and boundaries. Any sexual activity should be consensual, safe, and respectful regardless of neurodivergent status.
Not in my house lol! ;) I've never had sex, I imagine I would be boring with a partner and during intimacy. I like to prepare everything and think ahead so am often slow. So I guess a lot of people would be put off by that. But this is just me! There's probably a lot of people who are 'wild' lol.
Everyone's different.
