Published on 12, July, 2020
For me it's various things, some of which are (in no particular order):
Quietude in myself, quiet in my surroundings
Being alone or being with people I care about (preferably one at a time)
Being with animals and insects, especially studying how they spend their days
Being at home, in my bedroom, reading a novel
Being in nature away from the noise made by people
Watching a bird flying high in the sky, especially a raptor
Looking at the moon
Being creative
Beautiful. I can identify with all of those. Happiness is probably a mugs game but just now and again I can still momentarily go there. Just for a second. Contentment used to be so easy for me, despite my anxiety- I just needed the right conditions- simple, serene. Now, I’m fairly certain I’ll never have that again. Not while at least one bridge remains not even tentatively mended. But I can become becalmed in the right conditions. Mostly. For a while. A hot mug of tea and a podcast. Silence and a good book. Suspension of thought as I hear nothing but the clock tick as I watch a bird fly over my garden or alight on the apple tree. Learning, with patience (with my low skill level it’s needed) a new piano piece and then maintaining it.
I visited a friend today in hospital. One hour twenty of chatting about the silly and the serious and we found the one to one simplicity of that to our mutual benefit. I’ll go again on Monday. I felt something sit still in me while I was there. Maybe a feeling like ‘this is enough’.