Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
My crush keeps on blocking me and she needs some space from me and yet she wants to video call with our friends each evening. I texted her I 'need some space' I'm a bit confused on how to move on with the friendship. I texted her 'blocking people isn't very nice and I think I will give you space over the weekend'. I texted her also 'I need some space from you too because you keep on texting me on WhatsApp'. I confronted her why she blocked me once again and then she said 'go away' to me. I said 'have a lovely weekend, I will give you some space and I will speak to you soon'.
I'm very confused and can you help me please with how to move on with our friendship? Does she deserve to be my friend do you think?
I'll update you on more on what she keeps on doing to me.
Thanks,
I mean most of that doesn't apply if you are primarily communicating over text / email. ... because of distance or a pandemic.
Thank you for all your replies. I will take them all on board
I have to respect her boundaries and she is no longer my friend anymore
Yes she isn't my friend anymore
Actually if you study them enough NT's technically never stop talking, even with their mouths shut they are communicating non-stop, and if you can learn what the body language of a cat means you can apply that to humans just at a more complex level given enough time and observation. Typically NT's are so socially driven, even when doing so may be at their own cost that if one pulls away suddenly and then tries to "patch it up" but for the situation to repeat they are trying to retreat, politely, and hoping you'll take the hint to let them walk away without making them look like the A-hole, which actually they aren't always (shocking /j). It can be that you've commited some faux pas against them and not realised it in the moment, but the time to fix the rift has an expiry date and will widen with every new social faux pas, if it's got to the point that an NT will verbally say "go away" after blocking you on social media just take their word for it. You shouldn't want people in your life that don't want to be there anyway. It's a hard learned lesson for all teenagers but especially ND ones that not everyone has to like you or will like you and the healthy thing is to just move on to new people until you find the ones that you click with.
Yes I have often had the same experience and I have never understood it. To me someone is either a friend or they are not. Neurotypicals seem to have a much looser definition where they can let people drift in and out of their lives very casually without it seeming to bother them. They also blow hot and cold a lot more than us, one minute they are constantly in contact with you even when you need a break and time to yourself and the next minute they are not bothering with you at all and treating you like an irritation for messaging them. Sadly its a bug I have yet to find a fix to either
I have observed that autistic people are far more consistent with how they define their friends and far less flexible when it comes to friendships changing dynamically and gradually. I was like that when I left uni and the handful of friends started to drift away. I would text them and be like ‘why don’t we talk like we used to’
i get this. It’s painful when some one you we’re really close to starts to drift away. And the immediate reaction is to go out of your way to close that distance assuming it’s accidental. After all if they wanted to create emotional distance in the friendship they’d say so, after all you’d tell them right? Then they end up reacting by panicking and treating you like a stalker or weirdo.
to borrow a coding analogy this is a bug in neurotypical code and I’ve yet to discover a patch or effective work around.
I agree with Janet, you have to respect her boundaries, not just because it's the right thing to do and you're not entitled to this girl and her time but because if you don't and it goes on much longer it will be legally considered stalking/harassment at some stage.
Basically mate you news to leave that person alone.