Mute

Been assessing where my selective mutism begins and ends. I've come to the conclusion that it's a self defense mechanism that protects either my point of view or my energy levels, and comes most often when I haven't had any space to myself for some time. So I shutdown and prioritise my internal thought processes over my external communications.

Was wondering where yours appears?

Parents
  • For me, I get mute in three ways.  

    One is when I am too emotionally overwhelmed to make words happen.  There are thoughts in my head, but I just can't start talking.  Perhaps it's an inertia thing.  But I've also noticed that the more important something is for me, the more difficult it is to talk about.

    The other way is to do with starting conversations.  It can sometimes take me three days to build myself up to asking for something at work.  I see them in the corridor or the staff room, say the words in my head, but can't get them out loud.  Or I go to knock on their office door and end up walking past.

    My spouse surprised me one time by saying that when we used to go to the pub with friends there would be times when I didn't say anything all night.  I didn't notice that this was happening, but after she mentioned it I started noticing that I do have problems when it's a group.  Some people just talk so fast, and by the time I've worked out what I want to say, run it through in my head, I can't find a gap in the conversation to say it before the topic moves on.  Most people seem to be able to know the split second someone else stops talking and then jump in.  By the time I've noted the pause and drawn breath, someone else is already speaking.  So I end up sitting there silently unheard.  And then if I start feeling bad about it, I get the emotional overwhelm difficulties which make it even worse.

Reply
  • For me, I get mute in three ways.  

    One is when I am too emotionally overwhelmed to make words happen.  There are thoughts in my head, but I just can't start talking.  Perhaps it's an inertia thing.  But I've also noticed that the more important something is for me, the more difficult it is to talk about.

    The other way is to do with starting conversations.  It can sometimes take me three days to build myself up to asking for something at work.  I see them in the corridor or the staff room, say the words in my head, but can't get them out loud.  Or I go to knock on their office door and end up walking past.

    My spouse surprised me one time by saying that when we used to go to the pub with friends there would be times when I didn't say anything all night.  I didn't notice that this was happening, but after she mentioned it I started noticing that I do have problems when it's a group.  Some people just talk so fast, and by the time I've worked out what I want to say, run it through in my head, I can't find a gap in the conversation to say it before the topic moves on.  Most people seem to be able to know the split second someone else stops talking and then jump in.  By the time I've noted the pause and drawn breath, someone else is already speaking.  So I end up sitting there silently unheard.  And then if I start feeling bad about it, I get the emotional overwhelm difficulties which make it even worse.

Children
No Data