Published on 12, July, 2020
I am most comfortable with complete silence.
I wonder if this is the autism at play?
When I was growing up our house was always noisy and I think I was traumatised by it.
There were no quiet refuges - I even shared a bedroom until I left home.
My mum had to have sound on all the time. I believe she was autistic but I think she had an under sensitivity to noise, which I'm pretty sure I've read can also be an autism thing.
Then I had a series of shared flats, which were noisy, then bedsits until I purchased a quiet flat in my 30s.
Then I lived in a nice Victorian house on my own which still had some noise, as it was on a busy road in Portsmouth and terraced.
Nowadays I am lucky.
The last 15 years I have lived in a very quiet detached house where once the windows are closed there is no outside (or inside often) noise at all.
My husband is a quiet person + spends a lot of time in his studio outside.
It's taken me a long time to get to this quiet place in my life - I am now 61.
How do you respond to noise/silence?
I just don't feel up to communicating anywhere at the moment. The noise is all internal. I've been ill in one way or another for weeks.
Sorry, all.
I'm alright now. Well, at this particular moment. Sadly, this is how I am: all the stability and consistency and organisation of a puppy.
Steven said:all the stability and consistency and organisation of a puppy
I can't tell you how much I relate to this. It's like being on a seesaw alone: always one extreme or the other, balance is unthinkably impossible.
Do you find that the things that happen in your life often reflect this feeling?
An example would be: about 18 months ago, the ceiling collapsed in one of the flats in my building (I was renting) and we were all evicted, given 24 hours to collect our things and hand over our key After (some very stressful) months of being homeless and living in the spare rooms of friends, I found a gem of a place that I was lucky enough to be in the position to buy. Then, upon moving in, I discovered that the boiler, which I had been promised was in working order, was broken. My first months in my wonderful new flat were spent with neither heating nor furniture (my furniture budget was spent on a new boiler). Sleeping on the floor in the cold was not the dream
This is just one example of the rollercoaster of my life; my friends joke that my life sounds like an anecdote that happened to someone else and that life happens to all people but all of life happens to me. Am I alone in this?
Likewise
Luftmentsch said:It's not an inclustion rite exactly
Perhaps my choice of words there was inappropriate. I'd like to say that doesn't happen often, but I would be lying
Alice said:I had not considered that choosing and avatar was an inclusion rite.
It's not an inclustion rite exactly, it just makes it easier to realise that you're talking to the same person on different threads! Anyway, pleased to meet you!
I was in the process of writing about the validity of your response when you posted again.
Don't worry about my taking things personally, I only do that when it seems necessary (which doesn't happen often, regardless of the intention of the other person hehe)
Please don't ever feel like you must answer any questions, I am curious and I like to learn, but I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable with my prying. People fascinate me, our journeys and experiences are unique and interesting - albeit sometimes sad and disempowering.
I shall look forward to our continuing acquaintance