Published on 12, July, 2020
I am most comfortable with complete silence.
I wonder if this is the autism at play?
When I was growing up our house was always noisy and I think I was traumatised by it.
There were no quiet refuges - I even shared a bedroom until I left home.
My mum had to have sound on all the time. I believe she was autistic but I think she had an under sensitivity to noise, which I'm pretty sure I've read can also be an autism thing.
Then I had a series of shared flats, which were noisy, then bedsits until I purchased a quiet flat in my 30s.
Then I lived in a nice Victorian house on my own which still had some noise, as it was on a busy road in Portsmouth and terraced.
Nowadays I am lucky.
The last 15 years I have lived in a very quiet detached house where once the windows are closed there is no outside (or inside often) noise at all.
My husband is a quiet person + spends a lot of time in his studio outside.
It's taken me a long time to get to this quiet place in my life - I am now 61.
How do you respond to noise/silence?
I have always lived in a noisy house it seems, childhood home, and as an adult.
I also work in a very noisy environment, and before the work day is over my ears hurt so much I have to keep checking if they're bleeding.
When the noise gets too overwhelming it seems to trigger my sense of smell. I can then smell everything so strongly and it becomes overpowering. At that point I stop speaking.
At home I retreat to the sanctuary of my bedroom. It doesn't block out all the noise but it does reduce it.
If I could work at home just doing my art that would be great. Though I love my job, the noise levels, amongst other things, are making it incompatible.