Published on 12, July, 2020
I am most comfortable with complete silence.
I wonder if this is the autism at play?
When I was growing up our house was always noisy and I think I was traumatised by it.
There were no quiet refuges - I even shared a bedroom until I left home.
My mum had to have sound on all the time. I believe she was autistic but I think she had an under sensitivity to noise, which I'm pretty sure I've read can also be an autism thing.
Then I had a series of shared flats, which were noisy, then bedsits until I purchased a quiet flat in my 30s.
Then I lived in a nice Victorian house on my own which still had some noise, as it was on a busy road in Portsmouth and terraced.
Nowadays I am lucky.
The last 15 years I have lived in a very quiet detached house where once the windows are closed there is no outside (or inside often) noise at all.
My husband is a quiet person + spends a lot of time in his studio outside.
It's taken me a long time to get to this quiet place in my life - I am now 61.
How do you respond to noise/silence?
I find that what a lot of people would consider silence isn't silent to me, because I can hear all the little tiny noises they can tune out- something I now realise is a fairly common autistic experience. Those little noises can really get on my nerves if it's already a bad day.
I find that what works best for me is just having one noise happening. It's genuinely easier for me to listen to loud heavy metal that drowns out all the unexpected/unpredictable stuff than it is for me to sit here in 'silence' while the pipes clank!
I get asked the question, “ why do you listen to music with your earphones when you hate noise?” It’s easy, it’s one noise, I’m not trying to filter it and know what comes next. I went on holiday last year, there was live music in the evening, I started to spike, the music was fine, the chiller unit behind the bar was driving me insane.
I understand that. If it is noisy around me I like to listen to music with headphones as it cancels out everything else and takes me to a peaceful place.