Poly

could be, after googling what that is it sounds pretty much what im on about. although it could just be normal as i still doubt people feel love on the appearance of someone, to me thats just lust. love  is a hard grind and earned, like respect, its not given instantly but earned by time or shared experience.

ofcourse it seems women dont like that and prefer a quicky off a chav these days. i feel theres no love and lust has taken over peoples minds instead. which is then reflected in the amount fo single mothers and abandonment and partners falling out and relationships not lasting a lifetime like they did in my parents days but rather lasting 3 to 5 years tops. i honestly feel other people dont feel love, because if they did they wouldnt abandon anyone they once claimed to feel love for.

An extra adult who knows how to do stuff exactly in the wrong way and will need training.

I'm a hard sell today ;c) 

I Sperg said:

ever find time to paint the fence or deep clean the bathroom?

Exactly. It's like with kids, too much spare time = looking for trouble. After all mom cleans the bathroom.

Well, for a start you have more people to split the chores.  It's like having an extra child to help around the house, except they're an adult who knows how to do stuff.  Also if three people do decide to live together and share bills, you can afford to hire a cleaner.  ;) 

I Sperg said:

How do those of you who manage a thruple or greater polyamoury, ever find time to paint the fence or deep clean the bathroom? :c)

Have you considered you might be demisexual?

Every relationship I have, costs me some of my limited time and energy to sustain.

Whether it's simple relationships such as one has with the things in ones life, or money or the law, they all cost a sliver of time and effort.

Then there are the deeper relationships I have with my humans such as the long suffering O/H, the Daughter, some close friends, and of course their are my lovely cats, BUT the single sexual one in that list for some reasons can cost huge amounts of my personal resources and sometimes at the most inappropriate moments...

And (pardon my choice of words, no real insult is intended to anyone, except the comedic value of exposing my own personal limitations) you lunatics want to add a multiplication factor to that relationship workload?

I thought we weren't supposed to be good at that sort of thing?

How do those of you who manage a thruple or greater polyamoury, ever find time to paint the fence or deep clean the bathroom? :c)

I think I would definitely like to be poly if my circumstances were different. 

I've written a lot of fan fiction about poly relationships, which I know is different to real life, but it has madee think a lot about the ideas and values involved.

Values like compersion, which is where you find joy in the happiness of someone you love instead of being jealous, and lots of open and honest communication. 

My partner knows some people in a triad relationship, and I think it's wonderfully romantic.  Instead of limiting your love to one person, you get to share it with two!  Also I think all three are neurodivergent in one way or another.

The biggest barrier for me is just my ability to get out and meet people, especially one that me and my wife would agreee on.  Then there would be all the change involved in having to fit a second romantic partner in my life.  It's a big thing! 

I thought about this a lot when I first realised I was asexual, but eventually decided it's not for me. A fair few people do seem to take this approach- I'm not sure if it counts as being poly either but there may well be enough people who think this way to give it a name of its own or to consider it part of ethical non-monogamy more broadly.

I’ve heard the term ‘thruple’,  it seems quite in vogue at the moment. 

I like the idea of having a partner who has other partners besides me. Someone else could deal with the sex part and I wouldn't get overwhelmed by my partner being around me all the time. I'm not sure whether that counts as being poly.

I think that probing and prodding is probably more easily accomplished in literary arts, theatre/film and journalism, than in visual art. I can draw to a reasonable proficiency and I have painted, but, to me visual art is, like music, more visceral and emotional than intellectual. For me visual art is entirely subjective, I have three responses, I like, I hate or I'm unmoved. No, there is a fourth, Jackson Pollock's works, those I have seen in person, make me feel physically ill.

I'm a scientist, I analyse things to make sense of them.

No it is just futile, unless you are both incredibly gifted and fortunate.

Or words on a screen?...

Maybe turn to architecture or design?

I prefer artists that just create works of outstanding beauty and integrity without challenging my world view at every turn. 

I can do the "challenge the norm" stuff all by myself, it's the "creating a great work of beauty for the joy of that accomplishment" art that seems in short supply these days. 

I certainly can't do it myself.

Not everyone in a polyamorous arrangement has to be involved with each other- an example would be that if you have three people, they would be a triad if they were all in one big relationship together, and they would be in a 'vee' if one person was 'in the middle' dating two others who weren't involved with each other. Everyone has to consent to the overall arrangement, but not every person has to be in a relationship with every other person.

I should note, I'm a professional artist and the main role of an artist is to probe and prod society, possibly offering alternatives to the established and often unquestioned norms

Is questioning established norms an attpt to undo evolution? I think not. Or else many of the social movements underway now wouldn't be holding favour

Most things, like the majority of non-sociopaths I abide by my societal conditioning in most things. Even altruism has an evolutionary origin. On top of instinct, and other evolved characteristics we, as humans, also have culture and society, Both culture and society evolve and have regional variations. If you buck societal norms in a fundamental way then you, the individual, will most likely be the ultimate loser, society will be largely unaffected. Very few, very remarkable, individuals ever change society in meaningful ways. Of course I have individualisms, eccentricities, but I do not seek to undo evolution, either biological or societal.