Published on 12, July, 2020
This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. In fact my heart goes out to those prone to doing it as they seem to be experiencing a particular form of autistic ‘blind-spot’ that may leave them feeling isolated and unheard when really they’ve just been shouting into the dark without realising.
The phenomenon in question: basically someone newish to the forum sensibly browses for threads on topic x rather than start a totally new thread. But as they read through, they hone in on one point made by one user and reply to it, asking a question of them perhaps. In many cases, that user has not been around for quite a while, but the new person seems unaware of this statistical likelihood and Unless one of us points it out they are left like a tree falling in the forest. One of us will maybe spot their comment and help them out by pointing out that no response will ever come. But other times we might just be confused why an old thread has bobbed up to the surface and can’t see the recent comment buried among the old ones.
I have not practical advice to offer. It just makes me feel a bit wistful and sad for the person with that vulnerability to not factoring in the passage of time. Does anyone get that poignant feeling about it all? It makes me sad. Not just for the ‘ignored’ person but for the many lost ‘ghosts’ who we may one day be sooner than we intended. I miss everyone in advance, all the time. And complacency in this place will never take hold as departures of both kinds recently, (as well as more mayfly forum existences) will not be the last. I like and appreciate everyone who’s here, even if they’re just quietly sitting ‘at the back’ - all losses are felt keenly. Best wishes to all.
Briefly steps in to the light...
Indeed yes. I've seen such posts and had someone not intervened then I would have stepped in. It is sad to look back through the posts of members long since passed, partially I think, because they are no longer here and the question 'Why?' springs to mind, but also because it reminds us that one day we will be that member and someone might be digging us up years later. Not a pleasant thought really, but I hope we'll all be active here for many more happy years to come.
It is nice you care. Thank you for a kind-hearted post, it revives my hopes of human decency and care.
Darkness
Aw, thanks Darkness. How lovely for you to step from the shadows to say you’re here. Maybe this thread should become somewhere where those who are not normally ‘talkers’ to say a quick hello and take a bow. If (momentarily) comfortable doing so. It’s nice to have that sense of some extra quiet rows of people in the NAS community hall so to speak. No pun intended
Thank you. I'm actually feeling brighter than I have done in years so I may start to post more. Who knows, I might even be back home again in the next five years? Even though I don't post much I find this community helpful, reading all your posts and advice is helping my own personal situation. I was admitted to a mental health hospital age 23 and I'm still here, hoping to be well enough to be back home soon.
Have a nice day Shardovan, and thank you for helping me feel comfortable enough to post, if only for a short time.
Hello Darkness. I certainly know your namesake ! Please do jump into the threads if you feel you have something to say and feel able to do so. I find this place a two-way street....you jump in to try and help and support someone, and you unexpectedly get a tap of the shoulder of love and support from the shadows.
Good to make your acquaintance - I hope to bump into you again soon.
I found that very moving to read - Thank YOU