*sigh*

Autistic people are still people, complex, idiosyncratic and sometimes strongly opinionated. To expect any different is to be repeatedly disappointed, I'm afraid.

Hello Rich, so sorry you are feeling like this, I’m not massively literate and often don’t understand some words used, no two autistic people are the same. I’ve read two books in my life, my IQ is quite high, turns out that I’m dyslexic, I just learned to dodge reading, I’ve been on this forum for about 15 months, it’s usually a calm place, if I had joined a couple of weeks ago, I would have thought it was a toxic place, I tend to just swerve subjects that heighten anxiety. I’ve had a lot of help from different members and made some friends, it’s so much easier than trying to maintain friendships in the real world. NAS have been having technical glitches recently, it doesn’t always happen. As others have said, maybe take some away. Hope you don’t leave the forum.

kind Regards Roy.

Hi, I’m sorry to hear you are leaving. I personally feel very comfortable on this forum- I would hope that this is a place where people feel comfortable voicing their opinions and saying what is on their mind- so much of our lives is spent masking already. I think it is very hard to avoid triggering people as everyone has different triggers and some may seem innocuous to most but not to whoever is triggered (eg all the crisp posts (which could be triggering for someone with an eating disorder even though crisp flavours seem quite safe as a topic...). If I don’t feel comfortable with a topic I just don’t read it or don’t engage in the discussion. I understand that that may not work for everyone. But realistically it is not possible to avoid all ‘triggering’ subjects as anything can be. What would stress me out more is constantly second guessing if it is ok to say what I’m saying- I do that for a big part of my life already when interacting with people at work or otherwise. What I love about this community is that I can be myself. And I would hope others feel like this too. For me it is worth the risk of having potential triggers if that means that people feel safe to speak their minds- That’s just my personal opinion on this

Hi Rich,
I hear your frustration. It can be really painful when we a history of marginalisation, even alienation, to come to a place where we are 'supposed' to find people who will finally make us feel seen and understood, only to experience similar isolation. We don't know each other, and I respect you for making the right decision for you. Things have been challenging here recently, and it's important to keep ourselves safe.

Having said this, if you would feel able to give us another chance, you could take a break and come back once things have calmed down here? You haven't been here long, and whilst of course I would hope for everyone to be welcomed from the outset, it can take a while for people to get to know each other. Also, as you seem to acknowledge, the fact we're autistic won't on its own guarantee that we will 'click.' We all have our challenges with communication in different ways, probably at least in part because many of us have masked for years in different ways.

All this to say that it's totally up to you, but that I value the diversity of this space despite how challenging the clash of different opinions has been of late. If you're open to giving us another chance, I'm sure many here would appreciate getting to know you.

If you do leave, good luck out there. I hope you can find spaces where you feel safe to be yourself and make the connections we all deserve.  

Hi Rich, I'm sorry you're feeling like you don't want to be here. Unfortunately disagreements can occur online and more often than not will get out of hand. I would suggest, rather than leaving permanently, why not take a break from the forum for a week or two and wait for things to settle. I joined here after lurking because it looks an understanding and supportive environment, both I lack in my life. I wouldn't risk losing it just because of online arguments. Give it a chance.

I noticed many autistic brings here behaviour copied from allistic in order to mask, it is where that attacking each other and controversical posts come from, 

newly diagnosed don't know how to separate it and reject it yet, hopefully they'll learn,. alternative is to hermit oneself

RJW said:

Surely our most obvious trait, among many, is that we do not work so well as a community anyway….?

I think we have the capacity to work very well together when we have an accepting and forgiving overtone to the conversations.

Aspies have often formed groups for their shared special interests (trains, role playing games, comicon etc) and on the whole get on well in these enviroments in our own communities.

Life is often with lots of bumps in the road and I find that if these trigger you, it is worth seeking therapy to be able to manage the trigger response, and you can relax more to enjoy the journey.

If you find the discussions triggering then I would recommend just passing them by and focus on the ones that don't do this to you. Life is too short to let the few negatives (from your point of view) spoil what is otherwise a great site.

Good luck in finding some peace in the meantime.