Published on 12, July, 2020
I joined here around 5 months ago.
Since that time it's come to mean different things to me.
I think sharing experiences is invaluable but equally invaluable is the honesty I find here.
It's a place where we can talk about shared experience /our emotions/difficulties in a way that's impossible in the 'real' world - or at least if we speak about it there, it's unlikely to be understood.
It's a place to connect in a world where we often find connecting difficult.
I've received some PMs recently that have made me focus more on how very important this community can be to us as individuals.
Luna RIP called this her 'forum family'.
As a person who doesn't seek friendship (?or thinks she doesn't?), some surprising and valuable friendships have evolved from here for me.
How about you?
I had my first autism assessment yesterday and have just joined today. It's been nice reading other people's stories and has certainly made me feel less alone.
Welcome Thall. Loneliness is a common trope on these pages, but often with a contented acceptance and realisation of self. Can you share anything of your story to find us here? How did you find your assessment?
Thank you, Number.
My knowledge on Autism up until around 2 years ago was minimal until I came to a point where I decided to research it, as I'd had a number of people (family & colleagues) mention to me how they thought i may be autistic. I'd always wonder what it was about me that made them think that. As soon as the research began i was immediately drawn into it, after so much reading I'd never felt so 'seen' in my life!
In early 2022, I decided to get a referral for an assessment, fast forward to yesterday and I had my first appointment. I was feeling apprehensive leading up to it! Unfortunately, it didn't end the best and the whole experience was rather unsettling. I had my mum and sister with me and even they felt the same. The person leading the assessment (which was also performed via Video link) made it feel more like an interrogation, came across quite rude, spoke over me from time to time, responded to some of my traits I described with "well other people do that too". By the end he explained that he doesn't believe I have autism but Generalised Anxiety Disorder, he will however confer with the team and I will receive a letter in a few weeks with the outcome and whether further assessment is required. This has made me feel like my diagnosis journey has ended even though its only just begun! Since the appointment ended, I fell into a pit of silence almost immediately and didn't quite know what to think or feel. Last night all I could do was frantically google if other people had similar experiences. I've even had the back and forth internal fight of "well they are the professionals, they must be right!" and on the flip slide feeling with every fibre of my being that I am autistic.
Finding this forum has got me through today!
Thank you for your insight, Luftmentsch! I'm sorry you had to go through that, certainly a tough ride! I will keep persevering.