The Thinking Literally thread

Please feel free to list your experiences with literal thinking or related behaviours whenever you feel like it, and whether these are important or as typically ridiculous as my recent example:

* I ordered a 'personalised' t-shirt from Ebay, graced with the word 'AUTISTIC' in gigantic, glowing capital letters. Wearing this shirt, I thought, would save me the tedium of explaining my more unusual words or deeds to others whenever it might be necessary. Hooray! Alas, after receiving the shirt I realised that it's Winter & resultingly bloomin' freezing so it's likely that the shirt is now as useless as I habitually am. If I wear the neon monstrosity that is the shirt under an opened jacket, its essential message - which ludicrously dwarfs the famous HOLLYWOOD sign, such are my design-skills - will either be lost on the NT crowd, or else appear as some kind of short, ironic and post-sexist anagram. Doh.