Published on 12, July, 2020
I've written on here many times as my obsession is with suicide prevention, which I have got caught up with in a big way, but do not want to die , but realise that we autistics have a very high risk of this.
I've tried the usual things with drugs, psychotherapy etc and in my quest (as a research doctor) , I ve now set up a major research group , with many of the National experts in the country. It has taken years to get to this point but we are approaching a launch and I wondered about others opinions as to a useful avenue.
Existing services are largely medical ( with no evidence they save lives) and listening eg Samaritans (who NEVER give advice), but always listen and chat to ask you about your worries.
We will have a launch to thousands of people. and I feel we need a NEW service that is effective. Many suicidal thoughts relate to problems which are not medical (they are about relationships, finance, legal matters etc) so my idea is to give free access to any experts who wish to register and help with suicidal distress with anonymised (safe advice) I know my problems would have been helped with legal advice, rather than medical.
So FREE EXPERT ADVICE , but creation of a record to monitor peoples requests/ story / perhaps suicide risk factors and safety factors
Do you think this service would be useful and popular? It would all be free and rely on people donating their expertise for free (anonymised).
It would all be on an anonymised database (which could be researched) , but data GDPR security would be essential.
Any thoughts?
I had suicidal Ideation, (edging towards action on a couple of memorable occasions) until I was in my early fifties, and ingested a pair of what were called "Research Chemicals" our of boredom, and er, have never had them really since.
I also found that since modern physics with it's talk of extra, imperceptible but real, dimensions to reality had opened up a mechanism by which we could indeed go on in some way after losing access to the regular dimensions that we are familiar with, suicide become much less of a certain reprieve so am tempted to try and make the best of this life that I can and leave on a high note, not a low.
I remember clearly that the ratio of methylone to mephedrone was 3 to 2 and I took the methylone some 2 hours before the mephedrone and had found it ineffective hence I took a later 200MG IIRC dose of mephedrone, which I knew I kinda "liked but distrusted" but the effect was much potentiated and changed by the methylone already in my system. It took a week for the euphoria to fully wear off...
Like the first time I tried an E. (I've probably done that four or five times? I loved the effect of E but distrust the drug immensely, after seeing what regular use seems to do to people..) But on E I can dance like a normie (or not) and actually enjoy doing it with flashes of embarrassment... I can understand why some people can't get enough of that feeling...
"Research Chemicals" were Chinese made analogs of the MDMA (Ecstasy) molecule effectively chemically altered to escape classification as a drug, and hence sold as "bath salts" or something else equally "innocuous"legally speaking.
The trouble with drugs, legal and illegal Alike, is that when they deliver exactly (or even in some cases fairly close) to what the user feels they need, by definition that creates a savage addiction, moderated only by the users self control...
you are incredibly lucky, but I doubt we could replicate that . Some of it is the psychological optimism you now have
Exactly. I was incredibly lucky. I'm not content to experience "luck" and not share it about.
I have no need to do further experimentation myself, it was illegal to do what I did, but it did fix a gnawing problem, so I mention it and the dosages from time to time in case in a later age, where medicine goes back to being medicine, it gets to help someone else escape the horrible pit I lived at the bottom of for decades.
It's a time capsule kinda thing...