Published on 12, July, 2020
I've written on here many times as my obsession is with suicide prevention, which I have got caught up with in a big way, but do not want to die , but realise that we autistics have a very high risk of this.
I've tried the usual things with drugs, psychotherapy etc and in my quest (as a research doctor) , I ve now set up a major research group , with many of the National experts in the country. It has taken years to get to this point but we are approaching a launch and I wondered about others opinions as to a useful avenue.
Existing services are largely medical ( with no evidence they save lives) and listening eg Samaritans (who NEVER give advice), but always listen and chat to ask you about your worries.
We will have a launch to thousands of people. and I feel we need a NEW service that is effective. Many suicidal thoughts relate to problems which are not medical (they are about relationships, finance, legal matters etc) so my idea is to give free access to any experts who wish to register and help with suicidal distress with anonymised (safe advice) I know my problems would have been helped with legal advice, rather than medical.
So FREE EXPERT ADVICE , but creation of a record to monitor peoples requests/ story / perhaps suicide risk factors and safety factors
Do you think this service would be useful and popular? It would all be free and rely on people donating their expertise for free (anonymised).
It would all be on an anonymised database (which could be researched) , but data GDPR security would be essential.
Any thoughts?
I believe this to be an excellent idea. There is a huge gap in many areas of those on the spectrum.
I am the parent if a 31 year old Asperger's son who experienced a bit of a breakdown in the last couple of days the gist of which were 'who would want to love someone like this who doesn't know how to talk to new people and who has this broken body. It's not worth being here'
My overriding worry I have for my son is that he needs to know how to begin a meaningful relationship but when I try to advise him, he says to stop voicing platitudes, I don't know who can help him.
If there is a professional or group that has knowledge, understanding and actual experience and evidence on how to go forward with this complex issue, this would be a real breakthrough
This may also open discussion on the number of those who are on the spectrum and have been detained or imprisoned? Frustration, inability to express themselves coherently, anger, rejection etc etc.
Apologies for the length of my message but hope you accept there is a definite need for development in this area for those on the spectrum including teenagers (who may be experiencing puberty) and adults.
Regards, Sue
Hi Sue, your comment about your son hit me because I’ve recently been expressing the same sentiments. Until I realised, that my problem wasn’t that I couldn’t make relationships work, but that I wasinning my hopes on impossible dreams, that kept me distracted from seeing the truth, which is, if I let go of the dreams, and start focussing on meeting my needs, that will extend to meeting people o find my mind interesting and enjoy the way I experience the world, and I’ve got my first opportunity now with a lady I met about a year ago - I’m not talking romantic relationships for me, I haven cut that idea off completely, but I’m taking things slowly step by step, by learning to accept and honour my differences, learn to start meeting my needs and building routines that support me and wl minimise the severity of meltdowns, so they don’t lead to suicidal thoughts. And as I begin to be more open and trusting in this new friendship, I’m going let it help me to open up even more, step by step, so my circle of friends and interests grows organically at a pace that suits me. I’ll be joining an indoor climbing place, so I’ll meet people there and begin to build friendships. My autistic friend has been going for a year now, but she built it up slowly, and she even met a boyfriend there as well as some really nice friends. So it’s a subtle change in mindset and approach, coupled with building on self care, self awareness, self acceptance, etc, because I know I can’t start or keep any kinds of friendships or relationships if I’m trying to live like an nt and not an autistic person and if I start living like an autistic person, I’m already making friends and my life got instantly better, because I have a path I can follow now, one that I’m made for, which means making friends etc is a lot easier because I only be around those who enjoy me as I am, and when I let go of the fantasy, I got real results, just by me being me. It’s a process but one that can’t fail, with some help and support.
What type of person do you feel could most help your son - a psychologist, a counsellor?
We aim to provide something which is not easily available elsewhere, but what is needed?