Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! New here, and newly diagnosed. I feel like I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster with the diagnosis. One minute fine; "well duh, it's obvious I'm autistic", the next just kinda sad or frustrated at things that have happened in the past that might have been different if I'd known.
One such thing is my career. I feel like I chose it in a very autistic way. It was strategic and made sense because I could see a neat row of dots which I could connect together to do "the right thing" for my family.. But I'd also dropped out of school at 12, so I had to complete five years of study to actually get to the job I had decided I was going to do. I hated every minute of my studies. Up to that point in my life I had always quit everything, and unfortunately for present-day-me this was the moment I decided I was going to change my ways. Eight years later, I am miserable.
In the last two years alone I've taken three extended periods of time off sick due to "mental health difficulties". I realise now it was likely burn out each time. I hit an all time low yesterday and nearly quit on the spot. I literally did no work all day, instead just talking myself down from acting impulsively. Today I have logged myself as absent and have already decided I won't work again this year. I have realised I need to change my job, and I need a bit of mental space to think about it. So I'm taking it.
I guess what I'm really curious to know is, is this... common? Or maybe just what are you experiences of the working world as autistic adults? How did you select your career path? Do you love your job? Did you get it "right" first time? If not, how did you go about switching? Is it possible that I'm always going to go through burnout cycles because finding jobs that carry any level of satisfaction is actually pretty unlikely? I do kind of feel like I'm just going to be miserable for the rest of my life no matter how hard or long I work to try and make things better.
moosticks,
It's hard for me to answer those questions because I'm not you but I can let you know how work has been for me and the decision I've made in that regard.
I tried from the age of 16-46 to work. I got ill on a regular basis so much so that I had to give up every job to try another which ultimately led to the same thing. I think that any type of work for me is too much because I am a single parent to an wonderful Autistic girl. I chose to be on benefits so I am healthy enough to raise my child and then I will consider if paid work is something I can handle. I am volunteering starting in January to see if I can handle that. I've volunteered in the past but became too ill to continue. I think this time it will be different as it will be within my own home making calls to support people. This is something I am more comfortable doing and I hope that this will be something longterm. I can only try.
Keep posting here if you need to and hopefully when you reach a better energy level once again you'll know what will work for you for your future.