Published on 12, July, 2020
These questions presented themselves from within the recent tread about new users not responding to our writings or advice (originated within ‘Anybody need some advice from the voice of reason ?)
“Ghosting” is when someone just doesn’t respond to you at all despite you fully expecting them to do so, in any event. I would distinguish "ghosting" from blocking or outright ignoring someone. I would equate the feeling of "ghosting" to feeling like you have been overtly given the advice to "take the hint, mate."
I hate the experience…..SO many unanswered questions...and you should be polite and not push for an explanation? Right??
I'm not sure I'd notice if someone ghosted me, tbh. I don't tend to contact people unless they contact me first. With a very small number of exceptions, I don't have favourites among people. I'm equally happy to do an activity with all new people as with people I've known for 20 years, so tend to go along to groups that align with what I feel like doing rather than having individual friends. I don't see the point in maintaining friendships after one of you moves away, or gets a new set of hobbies.
I have ghosted probably the majority of people I've ever had any kind of relationship with. It just seems like the safest way of getting rid of someone.
HP35 said:It just seems like the safest way of getting rid of someone.
Just interested, what would be unsafe about just saying "I'm sorry I don't think this relationship is working for me."?
Remotely, probably nothing. In person, I can't read people well enough to know whether they might become physically aggressive, which has happened in the past. Also it tends to lead to a long list of reasons why I'm wrong and the relationship is working, designed to wear me down until i say ok I'll continue. I'd just rather not.
Please correct me if I am wrong because I'm currently operating in a funny mode (reading comprehension is not the best right now) but do you mean by "Also it tends to lead to a long list of reasons why I'm wrong and the relationship is working, designed to wear me down until I say ok I'll continue." that you feel gaslit or otherwise dismissed / minimised into being trapped in the relationship? Because if so I just wanna say that sounds really tough and I understand why you would choose to go that route.
I very rarely meet an adult physically smaller than me, so no one ever finds me intimidating, unfortunately.
Understood - and interesting! In person, I think I have the reverse of your problem.
People quite often seem to be intimidated by me.....or that is how I perceive it anyway. To be fair, I'd probably be wary of myself coming down a dark alley towards myself! I somewhat cultivate that air so that people generally leave me alone - its a double edged sword!