Did anybody find a person to help you understand your parts of Autism?

You raise good points in your writing and I identify with much of the frustration you feel.  Trying to unpick how much of my "true self" is pure autistic and which bits are just me being a selfish bas tard, which bits are due to my undoubted OCD tendencies, is there an ADHD drive too....etc.

I have found this place extremely helpful to me - it has helped confirm my autistic core to myself because some much of what is said on these pages resonate with me in a way that I had NEVER felt before.  It has been an overwhelmingly positive experience that has left me feeling substantially less lonely and stopped me worrying that I am simply mad !

Simply by being here, the common tropes that affect autistic people are laid bare - yes we are all unique little autistic snowflakes - BUT there is a very intense sense of community of shared experience.  I find this, in itself, massively helpful to me.

For me at least, being on these pages is more valuable than the multiplicity of efforts to sort myself out in the preceding decade or so.  It has been more enlightening and "true" than I could every have hoped for - and I keep my eyes open for helpful advice and techniques that other people use.  A couple of things that appeared from "left field" from other contributors have been really, really useful to me.

Knowledge is power........and people in this place have the knowledge - so stick around.

I found, among other websites and channels, a very good channel on youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Autistamatic

But there is still many unanswered questions

NAS64138 said:

I don't know if those things are unchangeable Autism things, or changeable non Autism things, or changeable Autism things with specific strategies.

From the last so many years of researching, there appear 3 things which are key human factors which cannot change (from my knowledge).

1: Autistic Sense-Perception and the inability to filter out incoming signals. Whether internally or externally. Here is a link to human senses:

What this means. We can be more connected to earth, to our being, to pain senses and nuances in the body. We can sharpen our ability to make distinctions between sound and light shade and temperature and scents. But we will also be more quickly overwhelmed and terrorised by external sensory elements if we do not take protective measures to shield ourselves. *this can also be impacted by the imagination: to envision a future only for it to not happen can be a bit of torment. The sense of dependability or the practicalities that follow are deeply impacting regardless of a meeting cancelled, the wrong cup of tea or a marriage that didn't work out. 

2. Forms of expression to communicate rather than Dominate. This includes words. We can learn over time to build our vocabulary but as a form of communication. Unless learned, words and phrases and language in general, all have a more pragmatic and analytic use rather than the momentary subtext. We might be able to learn these other meanings, but in my experience by the time I've learned what something means, the NeuroTypcial population has moved on.

3. A sense of everything-all-at-once, everything being connected, a state of hyper-focus and possibly hyper-flow. These are all due to Gamma Waves and summed up by Monotropism.org There is an interplay between these and GABA, which is different in our neurotype and creates a biological form of anxiety when Gamma waves accelerate out of control. 

In my inquiries, I've learned it's important to work out the difference between Trauma and the autistic-wiring. I've found stoic philosophy helpful and understanding the ethics behind manners important. I've found that sometimes my thoughts are related to 'picking up' or sensing a system happening around me which is difficult to identify but with - years (I'm sorry to say) - of digging into psychology and philosophy and matters of the human soul, much can be fixed when human relationships care about being respectful, affording dignity, seeking understanding and affirming another. Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I can protect others from me by taking a moment to regroup. Breathing, exiting, recollecting what's important. We are impacted Intensely. That will never go away, it's part of the sensory impact we cannot filter out. But I can chose kindness and I can chose to respond appropriately, which can mean exiting a toxic situation, letting go of someone who isn't kind and feeling that impact, allowing my self space to work though it. 

Growth is available for everyone. Be the best you. find your limits and weaknesses and invest in friendships which facilitate equal support. Always have something to bring, it does more for one's own soul than can be imagined. 

NAS64138 said:

I don't know if those things are unchangeable Autism things, or changeable non Autism things, or changeable Autism things with specific strategies.

From the last so many years of researching, there appear 3 things which are key human factors which cannot change (from my knowledge).

1: Autistic Sense-Perception and the inability to filter out incoming signals. Whether internally or externally. Here is a link to human senses:

What this means. We can be more connected to earth, to our being, to pain senses and nuances in the body. We can sharpen our ability to make distinctions between sound and light shade and temperature and scents. But we will also be more quickly overwhelmed and terrorised by external sensory elements if we do not take protective measures to shield ourselves. *this can also be impacted by the imagination: to envision a future only for it to not happen can be a bit of torment. The sense of dependability or the practicalities that follow are deeply impacting regardless of a meeting cancelled, the wrong cup of tea or a marriage that didn't work out. 2. Forms of expression to communicate rather than Dominate. This includes words. We can learn over time to build our vocabulary but as a form of communication. Unless learned, words and phrases and language in general, all have a more pragmatic and analytic use rather than the momentary subtext. We might be able to learn these other meanings, but in my experience by the time I've learned what something means, the NeuroTypcial population has moved on.

3. A sense of everything-all-at-once, everything being connected, a state of hyper-focus and possibly hyper-flow. These are all due to Gamma Waves and summed up by Monotropism.org There is an interplay between these and GABA, which is different in our neurotype and creates a biological form of anxiety when Gamma waves accelerate out of control. 

In my inquiries, I've learned it's important to work out the difference between Trauma and the autistic-wiring. I've found stoic philosophy helpful and understanding the ethics behind manners important. I've found that sometimes my thoughts are related to 'picking up' or sensing a system happening around me which is difficult to identify but with - years (I'm sorry to say) - of digging into psychology and philosophy and matters of the human soul, much can be fixed when human relationships care about being respectful, affording dignity, seeking understanding and affirming another. Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I can protect others from me by taking a moment to regroup. Breathing, exiting, recollecting what's important. We are impacted Intensely. That will never go away, it's part of the sensory impact we cannot filter out. But I can chose kindness and I can chose to respond appropriately, which can mean exiting a toxic situation, letting go of someone who isn't kind and feeling that impact, allowing my self space to work though it. 

Growth is available for everyone. Be the best you. find your limits and weaknesses and invest in friendships which facilitate equal support. Always have something to bring, it does more for one's own soul than can be imagined. 

NAS64138 said:

Not sure if title explains it properly, but basically got my diagnosis about 3 years ago, and while it helps to explain certain aspects of myself like issues socialising, there are many other parts that I can't help but wonder if they are just parts of me, parts of the Autism, or maybe something else like OCD/ADHD which Autistic people can have elements of / also have. Essentially my diagnosis ended up being more just "ye you have it", and nothing really going into any of the details or me specific things,

Maybe check out Samantha Craft’s Autistic Traits Checklist by way of the following link:

http://www.myspectrumsuite.com/samantha-crafts-autistic-traits-checklist/

And possibly also The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome by Tony Attwood by way of spending under twenty pounds or free by way of the following PDF link if finances prohibit buying it:

http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/files/5314/4595/7798/Attwood-Tony-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf