Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
I've just dug out my old school reports. Very enlightening!
Once I adapted to primary school I coped fairly well. I had the same teacher and class throughout, which helped a lot. My primary school teacher was lovely and I think she may have been autistic herself.
Some extracts from my last report from primary:
"expresses her views well on paper, although not forthcoming orally", "A quiet member of the class"
Already very apparent that my verbal skills were a long way behind my written skills.
"has shown a particular interest in maths"
Too true, I was obsessed with maths! Every day I used to ask my teacher for extra maths questions that I could do during break times and at home. I would much rather do maths questions than be forced to go out into the playground with the other children.
Like others have already commented, the transition to secondary school was extremely difficult for me. I went from having the same teacher for years to multiple different ones every day. My secondary school was a rough comprehensive too, I did not fit in at all
My first year at secondary school:
"lacking self confidence", "very quiet in class", "needs to speak up more in class discussions"
Even quieter than I was at primary school.
"exam results disappointing due to problems of timing", "tentative approach under timed conditions"
This was something I really struggled with under timed conditions. My brain needed more time to process questions and to think what to write. I could rarely finish exam questions in the time allowed. If I'd been able to finish I would have done much better in tests and exams. I note in the video posted above that this was something Sam struggled with too"
Years 2 and 3 at secondary school:
"quiet but very conscientious", "works quietly and conscientiously during lessons", "most conscientious", "conscientious and capable", "quiet and methodological", "participation must improve in the oral aspects"
A theme developing here. That word is used in my reports so many times in addition to the examples I have quoted. One of the comments below the linked video says "there should be a system that books an Autism assessment whenever a teacher describes them as "conscientious"
"must learn to work quicker", "very slow on the practical side of the course"
Still struggling with timing. In practical lessons, such as home economics and needlecraft, I was hopeless and couldn't follow instructions or do any practical tasks without disastrous results.
Years 4 and 5 at secondary school. This is when I really started to struggle more and more. I stopped attending many lessons and just about dropped out of school completely towards the end.
"works conscientiously", "conscientious worker", "conscientious effort", "continuing to work conscientiously", "oral work is poor"
Interestingly in year 4, despite my appalling attendance stats, my frequent absences barely seem to have been noticed by my teachers! I was obviously so quiet they did not notice if I was there or not.
"poor attendance record, will have to make much more effort", "progress hindered by frequent absences", "what has happened?", "must make effort not to miss lessons", "ability alone is not sufficient"
By my final year my teachers had finally noticed I was no longer attending their lessons. However nobody asked why or offered any support
Autonomistic said:However nobody asked why or offered any support
And that was something that should have been asked at the very start! Increasingly, when I look back at our school days, I'm seeing so many ways that, far from educating us, damaged us so that it became very difficult to recover and make appropriate choices in life. :(
Yes damaged for life in many cases. I wished that I had gone to school a decade earlier and been able to attend one of the old grammar schools. I think in that type of environment there would have been less bullying and general lesson disruption.
I used to read books where the characters in them attended boarding schools and I thought they sounded wonderful. Certainly compared to the rough comprehensives I was forced to attend.
Interestingly one of my schools was only a few miles from yours, that you mentioned earlier in this discussion. Do you remember The Avenue? One of the teachers there did notice that I was on my own all the time and he tried to encourage me to join the chess group. However I left that school shortly afterwards and never got the chance.
The next comprehensive I attended was even worse. I do not recall any teachers there ever trying to help.
Yes, I'd probably just have lain there crying and wishing I was back in my room at home!